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Twice in the same day...but for some reason this blog calls to me. It's as if there's something I need to say or perhaps a better word for what I feel compelled to do would be vent. My life has been quite complicated as of late. Not only am I confronted daily with the fact that I am a 33 year old, divorced, bisexual mother of 2 but to add to it what my heart's been going through recently...it's insanity at it's most insane. I won't bore you with the details or anything so trivial as names and actual events but I will pose to you this question...Are all men as stubborn and pigheaded and macho wannabe as the one I've been dealing with? I mean can we chalk it up to some hormonal or chromosomal deficiency? Or is it an environmental thing that causes a chain reaction? Perhaps something in the water? Is unwillingness to admit that you may need someone a normal guy thing? Could this possibly be the reason for never wanting to stop for directions when they're lost on the interstate in BFE at 3:30 in the morning or is that just because they're afraid to get out of the car on the chance that the boogyman will get em? Ok so that was more than one question by the time I got done...so frigging sue me...I still want to know. I know men are under a lot of pressure to be the strong one...the provider...the one you scream for when you need a spider killed...but c'mon. When it comes down to it I can kill my own goddamned spider and I could probably do it in a more expedient manner and NOT have to turn the room upside down chasing the little fucker around with a shoe to accomplish it. So, boys, give up the ghost already. We all know that you're not superheroes or gods. This sure as hell isn't Clash of The Titans and you're no Harry Hamlin. We don't always need you to sweep in singlehandedly and save the day with a wave of your magic penis. You don't have to be all powerful and do it all on your own. So quit trying to and just let us help ya out once in a while. Some battles cannot be won with a single blade. Sometimes you gotta recruit an entire army. So what's the harm in just leaning on one person? And if you've made me a part of your life don't tell me it's none of my business. YOU made it my business when you got me to care about you. If I didn't give a damn I wouldn't have you in my life to begin with and if you didn't want someone to give a damn you would shut yourself up in a room and not talk to anyone. Hell, I could be the person who shoves your meals through the slot in the frigging door. I hear that job pays pretty well even though it's shit work. I know this is probably beginning to look like one big man bashing session, but I'll say this. Most of my friends are guys because in most cases I tend to relate to them better than I do to women. Most of the women I've encountered are underneath it all mean spirited, manipulative, conniving bitches with a severe lack of self esteem. And now as the complaints about my attitude toward my own gender pour in...let me say this... At least in general we ladies have learned one basic lesson. YOU CAN'T ALWAYS DO IT ON YOUR OWN. If we didn't know this we would go to the damn bathroom by ourselves at clubs and not in such large groups, because as we all know some makeup or hair emergencies require a team of semi-professionals to rectify them without tragedy striking. And we can't go around with flat hair or the wrong color eyeliner. Goodness, the world could suddenly tilt on it's axis or something. And what is the root of this particular obsession? Because we're under pressure too. You men think we have it so easy? I'd like to see you walk around it a thong and 5 inch heels all damn day...see how you like it. Do you think we do this for ourselves? No. We do it to satisfy some man's idea of what beauty is. It's just another fact of life. We deal with this fact...so start dealing with needing us once in a while. If we weren't willing to be there for you the heels and thong would NEVER happen. We'd wander around all day in comfy granny panties and loose t-shirts and piss on your concept of beauty. Ok...well...now that I'm out of cyber-breath I think I'll leave you to ponder the answers to these questions. If you happen to come up with anything remotely logical to explain this phenomenon please take the time to let me know...after all we're all here to help each other out, right? At least I'd like to think so... Whew. I feel a lot better now.
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