SilentRage's blog: "AnyThingGoes"

I recieved an offline message from my sister this evening and it kinda upset me.... now keep in mind she lives in NC and i am in another state...SC i know they r next to each other and we only live 3 hours apart...this offline message asked if i was ever gonna come up so she and mom could see the baby... now she also knows that i do work and need to support my family here...i cant always take a day off from work just to go up there... it's not the fact that she asked when i was comming, its the fact that she gave me a guilt trip about my daughters first birthday passing and they didnt get to see her.. dont feel bad Ellissa i dont see my daughter much either, being i am working all kinds of crazy shifts just to make a living for me and her!!!!! i dunno, i am just at my wits end with this.. i am happy her ein SC with my family down here that i have established and my friends that i have made here.. why cant ellissa just understand i cant jump at her every whim???? oh well you would think she understood, my mom lives with her as well as my 16 y/o neice, so she should know all about taking care of home first, then play later.. its also not like she dosent have weekends off to come down and see my daughter... its not like sher dosent know where we live and it isnt like she dosent have the money b/c we all damn well know if you can drop 18 grand on a new car and afford gucci bags and all kinds of unnessecary things you honestly dont have to have in order to breathe... you can at least make the effort to drive 3 hours....i am always t he one having to make the trips up there.. and arely can i get her to meet me at the state line which is under halfway for her... GET A GRIP ELLISSA!!!!!!!! sorry i just needed to let that air out... no need to comment ....

Well Yesterday morning i recieved the call everyone hates to get...."Baby, i hate to tell you this, but >INSERT NAME OF CLOSE RELATIVE HERE< has passed away." My one and only uncle died. But you know, the pain of losing him isnt as much as never getting to tell him goodbye. I havent seen "Pop" in over 6 or 7 years, let alone speak to him. I let something so stupid shadow my love and devotion to him.And now i'm left standing here with tears and surprise. i never thought he would be the first to die, never in a million years would i have ever thought that. I thought there was still time. I was sadly mistaken. I may not have told him with my voice "goodbye" but i sent a prayer to him in heaven. I know it will reach him, if only i knew if i was forgiven. So please i beg everyone of you that read this blog, not to let that shadow cover the relationships you build with people and never think you still have time. Because you never know when their day may come.Tell them you love them every time you speak to them, if you cant, just a guesture will do. I LOVE YOU "pOP-pOp" FOREVER AND A DAY!!!!!! R.I.P