1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at ######### parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face
and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart.
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted
to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
And they say blondes are dumb.
-----------------------------------------------A couple is lying in
bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the
world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you."
----------------------------------------------------------- "It's
just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack said as he stepped out of the
shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed
the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money,"
---------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat
him to death.
AMEN
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
----------------------------------------------------------- Q: How
do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."
