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What are you waiting for?

Mark James

As the hours and minutes tick on

I realize it has been almost another year.

Each day that passes with the start of dawn

I dream of a time when you were here.

 

I wish I could turn back the hands of time

And stop them at a time where I could hear your cry.

I cant help but think it is a horrible crime

That I have already had to say goodbye.

 

Though your life was cut to short for my taste

You will always live on in my thoughts and my heart.

Your place in my life can never be replaced

I will always feel the pain of us being apart.

Most people look at their birthdays as a celebration for another year of life. However, my birthdays have become dreaded. Its not because I become older, that I'm okay with. But my birthday marks the beginning of some emotionally difficult times for me. March 17, 2003 is a day I began to change who I am. It is the day I held my first true angel in my arms. The day my 2nd son was born without life, 5 weeks before his due date. The day that I saw that life is TOO short. The day I realized that I would never be the same mother, or the same woman again. It has been nearly 6 years, but I still grieve the loss of my son. He was one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. April 24, 2007 is the day I held my 3nd true angel in my arms. My 3rd son, passed away at 9 months of age. I found him in his bed not breathing that day, and tried to breathe life back into him. I was not successful. He was the most beautiful baby I've had the privilege to spend time with. He had a spirit like no other person I've met. As much pain, and suffering as he went through during his short time on earth.... he was still the happiest baby I will ever know. July 4, 2003 I held my 2nd true angel in my arms. I was blessed to have met my nephew, who died within minutes after birth from a heart defect. He was absolutely beautiful, and perfect in every other way. I am fortunate, to have been able to hold so many angels here on earth. I have realized that I am strong woman to have survived the deaths of 2 sons. I grieve daily for the loss of the beautiful children in my life. But, at the same time, I celebrate the lives of my friends, family and loved ones. I hate this time of year.... it always brings up hard memories.
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