My Tia rosie passed away just a few days ago and Im not sure how to take it. My mood is weird....I feel kind of numb, I cant really cry for her. I think I have been shedding too many tears for my wuela. hmm....My tia rosie was a gorgeous lady inside and out and she will be missed.
The rosary and funeral is next week in Fresno. Im still debating on if I will go or not. I feel hypocitical going to a rosary when I dont even pray on my own time nor did I pray when we buried my wuela. I was also told the its open casket and I just dont know if I can handle that...I have never really been strong enough to handle that sort of thing. When we had my wuelas funeral and I saw her, it finally hit me that she was really gone. Except when I was standing there looking at her it made me realize that it was just her shell you know....it wasnt really her at all and i think that hit me the hardest....I dont wanna see my aunt like that, thats a very long lasting image in a persons head and it is not a good one.
There is something about death and funerals that make a person turn inside themselves. You can find yourself calm and more tired..and thinking about things you often dont think about. It can also bring memories that you stored away about that person that you thought you forgot. It can bring an extreme sadness over your entire being and sometimes even effect those that are around you.
Im normally a very happy person, it takes alot to bring me down. But it seems that lately alot of things have brought me down. This just adds the cherry to the cake. I dont like feeling sad.......last night I was laughing till I cried and do u know how good that felt???? It has been so long since I have laughed like that..And I miss it. Laughter has always made me feel 100% better about myself.
After hearing the news of my aunt I just want to say cherish every moment you have with a loved one, because you never know when it will be the last time you see them. Dont ever take anything for granted......EVER!!! Love, Live and believe.....3 words that some of us must live by to make it through the days...
