TBear's blog: "Another big blog of fun!"

Redneck Man's pick up lines: I like #7... 1) Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to check you out. 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em. 6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. 8) Fat Penguin................... Sorry, I just wanted to say something that would break the ice. 9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. 10) I can't find my puppy , can you help me find him? I Think he went into this cheap motel room. 11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner. 12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin', we kin sleep Til afternoon. And.... The best for last! 13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up

Good morning all. It was a wild night in mid-TN. Storms everywhere, thunder crashing, lightning flashing, winds howling, and rain in sheets. Sirens three times during the night, one totally freaked out cat and terrified bird at my house. Then there was me. Basically annoyed at the lost sleep heh heh. I knew by yesterday morning it was going to be a tough day, woke up with temps in the 60's. Being from "tornado alley" in northern Oklahoma, I have an odd connection with severe weather. I knew it was bad, but at my house it was merely like an artillery attack. The flashes and the thunder were together. I am on the crest of a hill so that happens a lot. 15 miles to the north, they were not as fortunate. Homes & businesses destroyed. At least 5 people killed. Lives in disarray. Animals wandering around in a daze. God bless those people and may their road to recovery be short & smooth. Again, I am lucky. Someday a tornado may find me, but up until now, I have had 15 close calls. #15 will be revealed to the world as the sun rises. I just hope the road to town is not blocked. Charley

You all are such awesome people. I got so many get-well wishes in the past few days, and I wanted to thank you all for taking the time and energy to check up on me. I am flattered and humbled at the response. Also want to let you all know that I am almost fully human again! Well, as close as I get to that status anyway... :) I have gone from a head full of cotton and out of breath all the way to just a slight occasional cough. All that positive FU energy transferred itself into a big foot and kicked ass on my malady! I couldn't have done it without you all. As I bow and scrape, I cry "I'm not worthy!" But I am pleased to bits that you think I am. Love to all, you know who you are! me

I was going through some papers - preparing for tax season! Isn't that what people do? Never mind. Today I found the certificate I was given when I got my pet birdie Garfield. It has his official ACS (American Cockatiel Society) hatch date. Which is: 02/02/1981 So, officially, today my buddy is 27 years old! My goodness. He is twice as old as the normal lifespan of his species mates in the US. I knew it was this month, but all these years I was thinking it was Lincoln's birthday. DOH! This is what he looked like at age 5 weeks, I had to feed him this way for several weeks. Maybe that is why he thinks I am his mom lol! Here is his cuz Fluffy, she came along in 1984. RIP Fluffy! She passed on of natural causes in 1994. She was the sweetiest! My buddy Garfy & I have been through a lot since 1981. He was the one that called us to my mom's room when she had passed on in the night. How did he know? No idea, but he knew and made a lot of noise until somebody came to check. He has survived my going through 2 wives, 4 roommates, growing kids, 2 young grandkids and also, four other cockatiels have come & gone since I brought him home at age 2 weeks. We have lived in 7 houses in 5 states, plus 5 apartments along the way. Geez, it is a wonder he is still kicking! And that I have survived all of that as well lol! He is always glad to see me, no matter how long I am gone. He is suffering from painful legs & hips now, and can't fly very far anymore either. He is still tougher than any cat or dog that has come along. And he still loves pretty girls too. He will never admit it, but he is fond of cats too. He finds them a great source of amusement. Here is a recent pic from early January: So. please join me in wishing my friend and pal Garfield a happy birthday. He gets an extra serving of scrambled eggs, and an extra large millet spray in honor of the occasion. I love you Garfy! Happy Birthday!!! Thanks to all that stopped by to see this too XOXOX me

Hello friends, family, and FUbarians! Lend me your eyes. I have not come to bury T~Bear, but to complain for him. But not really... It's hard not to quote the occasional Shakespeare, even if license is taken. Forget the slings & arrows. Somebody might get the wrong idea about me! :) I just wanted to tell anyone that would take time to read my blogs (you know who you are!) to let you all know this news flash! I have a G#@#%^&+<>n head cold! I get one about every 10 years, and this is my lucky year. I am a terrible patient, especially since there is nobody here to wait on me hand & foot. I knew I had wives for some reason! I guess that is not enough to bring them back - YIKES! Now I am delirious heh heh! So, besides my demanding, drama queen kitty, I have pretty much been a lump since Sunday night. I have been idiotic and going to work, then I come home, meet the cat's demands, and go to bed. I must meet his demands or he might kill me in my sleep. The weather has not been cooperating either. It has fluctuated from the 60's to the teens - all in the same day. We have had 75+ MPH winds, rain, sleet, snowflakes, and wind, wind, WIND!!! I left Oklahoma years ago because of weather like this. Today we had sleet and a TStorm. WTF!!! Global weirding! So, I am way behind on interaction with my fav FU's and those I have recently met. It cannot be helped. I managed to escape the evil cat's clutches long enough to type this out. I don't think he can read just yet :) He is bound to discover my ploy - shiny tinkling bells - any minute and come hunting me down. I am not very hard to find, except for potential dating partners, in which case I am already an endangered species. A fossil. I just want you all to know I am wishing for a fast recovery and I will be back to my old cuddly self. You are all fabulous (especially those that read this!) and I miss having the little things like energy, breath, and hope for the future. I told you I am a terrible patient! Well, all of that and of course, all my FU friends. As the governator once said - "I'll be back!" Soon I hope. Love you all, mean it! Hugs me

Maybe I shouldn't give you some of these, but here goes: Investment tips for 2008 for all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2008. 1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace. 2.) PolyGram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesty Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker. 3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood. 4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa . 5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP. 6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild. 7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants. 8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW! And finally .... 9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBang Bang

This is called the "NAUGHTY GAME". Copy these questions into an email and send it to me with your answers. I will reciprocate! Be honest! Mark all that apply Would you kiss me? [ ] Hell Yea [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe [ ] already did Would you do me? [ ] In an instant! [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe [ ] you look to sweet to fuck [ ] already did Am I attractive? [ ] Heck no [ ] hot as Hell [ ] Fine [ ] Cute [ ] Okay I think ur pretty [ ] Sexy [ ] Ugly! Do you think im a virgin? [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Don't know Name one thing you would like to do to me... 3 things you would like to know about me? 1.) 2.) 3.) If you saw me for the first time would you talk to me? [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] maybe Would you rather.. [ ] Hook up with me [ ] Cuddle with me [ ] Date me [ ] Marry me [ ] Friends [ ] Do me What kind of underwear are you wearing right now? [ ] boxers [ ] whitie tighties [ ] thongs [ ] g-string [ ] granny panties [ ] boy shorts [ ] none / other __________________ Thanks!