How many of you have been hit with the following:
1) Somebody calls your name, you answer, then get hit with the following question:
"Are you asleep?"
Logic dictates that if you answer, you are not asleep, OR you are NO longer asleep.
2) You are busy working on a project and someone walks into the room, looks directly at you and asks:
"Are you busy?"
There are times when I am asked this question and I just want to take the person out, stake them over an ant hill, wait till the ants have had a good two hours at em, then ask:
"Are you uncomfortable?"
3) You just take a bite of food, a person turns to you, clearly sees you are chewing something and asks:
"Are you eating?"
4) Someone has really gone way overboard pissing you off. Your face is red, your hands are shaking, you have an expression on your face that would make the devil himself run for cover, and they ask:
"Did I upset you?"
5) From my military days:
While on a NATO joint exercise I was leading a patrol in an area that had once been part of the Siegfried Line. While that meant little in the early 80's, the fact that I notices some round metal pie pan shaped objects in the field meant a lot.
Upon Examining the closest one to me, I deduced that somehow we had stumbled onto a minefield left over from ww2, and never cleared.
PFC directly behind me asks:
"Hey, Franklin, are these things dangerous?"
My first instinct was to tell him to run ahead across the field and find the platoon Sargent. My second instinct was to beat the fool with my rifle.
I went with my third, telling everyone to go back, stepping in their tracks on the way.
We had just cleared the field when a poor old cow wondered into the area and found one. After the explosion, I looked at the PFC and said, "How is that for an answer. Now, why dont you do us all a big favor. DEFECT TO THE GODDAMN RUSSIANS."
