Roads untraveled's blog: "Such Trivial Things to Make People so complacent"

  That perfect someone. Isnt that what we all want? Love and to be Loved. Most people have been in love or had feelings of love for someone. But when you get hurt by someone that you feel those strong feelings it makes you question love and makes you doubt yourself and the feelings you felt from that person and the ones you gave in return. Love is the all end all of everything right? The crazy and amazing things people do when they are inlove or love someone period. So why is it that we all usually have to learn a hard lesson when it comes down to being hurt by that person in which we loved.... I believe we go through these world devastating and crushing to find the pure truth of love.

  I belive the truth of love has more meaning than people originally think.

  When you truey love someone and are loved back in the same manner, the other person is always put first in actions because love is more than a feeling but an action. The actions I speak of are more simple than complex even though love always seems to be complex and perplexing most of the time. Caring gestures, embracing touches, looks, understanding and listening, motivation to be positive, compromises. These seem to be small challenges and I say challenges because alot of people dont listen after awhile which seems to be the most difficult obstacle at times in any serious relationship. When people are first together there is that overwhelming feeling of love and happiness. You explore and learn each other and become more interested about another person than you ever have, conversations seem fresh and new and at times go on for long periods because you are creating a bond. Every touch seems more sensitive and makes you that ever more curious. You feel an indescribable pulling to be around that person and build those bonds between you and the other person starting the base for trust, honesty, security, greater self esteem, and of course love. The only problem that arises after time as things do these traits shared at the beginning seem to wavor and fade even if they are still present because the gestures start to become spaced out which is normal but sometimes they fade beyond wanting to because there is no reinforcement for these over the long duration when they are shown. And in alot but not all relationships the intamacy that seemed to be something special shared between the couple starts to be the only pillar supporting the feelings and is a poor substitute for the act of showing the feelings of love you have for the person. Intamacy should never become what seems to be the only source of enforcing the feelings when the gestures and acts of acknowledgement that was present in the beginning arent showed like they should be. Intamacy should stay the same positive reinforcement that is bestowed in a relationship as a special bond between a couple that show the same reaccuring appreciation for their partner as in the beginning of the relationship when the euphoria was enough.

  Now when you have those strong bonds with another person you know that you would do anything for that other person just as they would do for you. When these strong bonds are present in a relationship, hardships faced become something that is overcome easily when the two people face it together with the understanding that it is two agaisnt the world and no matter what situation happens they will face it hand in hand to achieve the same goal. With this mentality even distance doesnt hinder the chioce to put the other person first, even if it was needed by the other person to drop everything and travel any amount of distance to be there for the other person for any reason.

  Appreciation is probably another big thing in relationships, most people dont receive the kind of appreciation that is deserved but never demanded. Its sad to say but this is a poison in any relationship. If one person becomes less appreciated it changes or modifies the persons ability to want to recipricate the feelings and emotions back associated with appreciation and self value to another.

  Trust and honesty heavily rely on how strong of a bond that is created with the other person. In alot of cases many people have skeletons or regrets which they feel they should never disclose to anyone ever for the feelings of being exposed as something other than how they would like to be seen as. This leads to lies compounding other lies because of the feeling of being rejected by the other person when the expectations arent what they thought.

  In summation we want that perfect person that we know will give us the admiration of love and the respect of appreciation that gives us that feeling of security. The trust that they wont leave our side even through hard and easy times, that they will understand us for who we are and not judge but accept our strengths and weaknesses. Someone who we can love and be loved back with equality.