When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
>> >it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
>> >someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a
>> >phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >A man answered, saying "Hello."I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I
>> >please speak with Robyn Carter?"Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my
>> >ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on
>> >me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude .
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I
>> >had accidentally transposed the last two digits.After hanging up with
>> >her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.When the same guy
>> >answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it
>> >in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had
>> >a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It
>> >always cheered me up.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
>> >calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,this
>> >is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're
>> >familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down
>> >th e phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
>> >asshole!" and hung up.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.
>> >Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
>> >patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
>> >for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in
>> >his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later,
>> >right after calling the first asshole (I had is number on speed dial,) I
>> >thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"He said, "Yes, it
>> >is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I
>> >live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch, and the car's
>> >parked right out in front."
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked,
>> >"When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening
>> >after five."
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >He said, "Yes?"
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Then I came up wit h an idea. I called asshole #1. He said, "Hello." I
>> >said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you
>> >still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said,
>> >"Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He
>> >said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree
>> >Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow ranch, I have a black Beamer parked in
>> >front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better
>> >start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared,
>> >asshole," and hung up.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Then I called Asshole #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole," He
>> >yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He
>> >exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass," I answered, "Well, asshole, here 's your
>> >chance. I'm coming over right now."
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
>> >34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill
>> >my gay lover.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
>> >Blvd. in Fairfax.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just
>> >in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
>> >front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a
>> >news crew.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.
>> >