Angel's blog: "Angel's Musings"

I really love living in Florida. Where else can you be a short drive from soul-satisfying salt water; breath-taking rivers and springs; all the mind-blowing amusement parks? Today is one of those days. Right now I am craving the salt water on my skin, the sun on my shoulders, swimming with the fishes and everything else that goes with the beach. We are blessed here with some of God's greatest creations, right in our own backyard. I know each state and each person has their own ideas of what is paradise. Today I am enjoying my little bit of heaven. A nice day of reminiscing and anxiously awaiting another trip to the ocean.

What is so difficult about this little concept? We have all been in situations where we needed to offer forgiveness. But do we truly forget the wrong that was committed? And what about those times when we needed to be forgiven? Were our wrongs forgotten? It seems to me that this is such a difficult thing for humans to do. We can say we forgive but we never truly forget. I know, from my own experience, that letting go of the past is one of the most difficult things to do. It can destroy us inside because we cling to it. It eats at us, like a cancer, and yet we still can't forget. When I say forgive and forget, it can be anything that someone has done to us or we have done to someone else. We learn from our Judeo-Christian roots that forgiveness and forgetting go hand in hand. I guess I am just having a hard time right now letting go of some things and it is hurting me. Late at night, when the house is quiet, my mind goes to previous events, conversations, places. And it is in those times that it is most difficult to forget. I want to know why I keep dwelling on things. I want to know how long it will take before the anger and hurt doesn't bother me anymore. Has anyone else ever felt this way?

I have never blogged before, but felt it was time to start. A friend sent me this in an email this morning and the more I read it, the more I realized I had a comment, memory, or thought on each one. So, I am using this as my first blog and hopefully will comment on each of these over the next few days. Please feel free to comment on them as well. Let's talk! 1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.. 2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. 3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. 5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them. 6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. 9 . Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful 10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around. 12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you. 13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON. The first one is easy. I love who I am when I am with you, the love of my life. You make me feel strong, sexy, loved, wanted and needed. You make me happy. Comment on number 2 - I'm not so sure I agree with this one. Just because someone makes you cry doesn't mean they aren't worth your time and effort. Sometimes people hurt you without meaning to. I believe that a good relationship is going to have some tears in it. We are human after all, and our emotions are such a huge part of what we are. I value the tears in a relationship, not because of the pain that caused them, but because of the healing and cleansing they can bring. Ok, time to comment again. Number 3 this time. This is a hard one to come to terms with, but once you think about it, it makes sense. We all have different ideas of what love is. And our way of loving someone might be different from how they love us in return. But that doesn't mean that their love for us in any less special or amazing. Love is never easy, that's for sure. I am skipping over to number 5 tonight. Do you have any idea what it is like to miss someone so badly, to want them more than anything, to have them right there beside you and know that you can't be with them? It is a deep hurt, one that you do everything you can to ease. But nothing seems to help.

How do you feel about true love? Or what about soul mates? Do you believe in either of them? I know how I feel. All of us are fractured souls. Cut in half. And we wander thought life looking for the rest of ourselves. And sometimes we are fortunate enough to meet someone who possesses, in themselves, the part of ourselves that we’ve been missing. We may not realize it on a conscious level, but definitely on a subconscious level. We see in someone else…something of ourselves. That’s why sometimes you meet someone and you just immediately feel comfortable with them. You feel like you’ve known them all your life. The reason is that they’re a part of you, and you’re a part of them. You’re soul mates. You…fit. And once you’ve fit together, nothing, and no one can pull you apart, unless you let go. I think I have found my soul mate, that piece of myself. The quesion is, does he feel the same way? I hope so. All I know is that this person is meant to be in my life. My every waking thought is of him. For me, it is the kind of love that takes your breath away at the mere mention of his name, or thought of him. Our souls are meant to be. Does anyone out there agree with that idea?

Have you ever had one of those days where you just wanted to pinch someone's head off???? Today was that kind of a day. At least now it is the end of the day and I can close my eyes and forget. But sometimes it just feels good to vent a little, rant and rave. I hate dealing with stupidity. And yet, in my chosen profession, that seems to be what most people have an abundance of. It oozes out of them in slow trickles, like sap from a long-forgotten winter tree. And those people who just cannot seem to stop themselves from showing their utter stupidity, seem to revel in it. Alas, what is one to do but to watch in amusement and wonder as those poor, less-fortunates wallow in their delusions of greatness. And now, feeling much better, I can once again be my usual happy, fun-loving and oh so joyous self.