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Some people say i'm crazy... well... i am... i have voices in my head... they speak in spanish....I have no idea what they're saying! It pisses me off... I wish one of them would get a job!!!! What? ? ? ? ? They just moved here from Spain.... if you thought they were Mexican, well... you're a racist.... yeah... you should look at yourself n the mirror before you throw stones :P
i love to date Russian women... why? cuz Russian women are great to date, cuz u can impress them with stuff that you can't impress American women with... like BREAD!!!!!
so... i'm not totally broken up with my GF... i still stalk her and stuff.... i'm only joking... i can't stalk her... serioiusly, i couldn't stalk her if i wanted to ... cuz i have A.D.D.... so after like 10 minutes in the tree... i would forget why i was there! the cop would be like, "what are you doing up there, son?" and i'd have to respond, "Your guess is as good as mine, officer... that's why i called you!"
my last GF broke up with me... which i think is better... cuz then the break up is over in like 4 or 5 min... cuz when a girl breaks up with a guy... he get's to say his piece which is usually like, "you suck!" and that's it... it's over... but when i a guy breaks up with a girl you need to free up an entire afteroon... cuz there's going to be questioning... and whittnesses... and forms to fill out... at that point, ur soon to be ex GF turns into a special prosicuter... she's all like "is it not true that you said we would be together forever?".... and you're going to curl up and say something like, "I do not recall saying that." then she pulls out exibit "A".... and states, "well, maybe this CARD will refresh ur memory" and it's at that point that you learn an important lesson about girls... THEY SAVE EVERY SINGLE THING YOU GIVE THEM... what men consider GIFTS, they consider potential evidence that can be used against you at a later date... seriously, that's why they have so many shoes... they just need the boxes to save all the crap that you give them....
I can't believe that girls can have babies....you like baby fatories did you know that? Ladies, do u know u can have a baby? Yeah... i'll sho you later... yeah, it's really fun.... but... i love that you can't make one without us (men) though.... we have the "seceret incredient"... i love that... it's almost like G-d made us and said, "eh.... not so good... i'm going to have to give them a job or something cuz... no one's ever going to talk to them... i'll let them hold the "secert ingredient"....." Unlike any other seceret ingridient... we'll just give it to ANYONE that asks! any girl could walk up to a guy and be like "hey, can i have ur seceret ingredient?" . . . and a guy would be like, "SURE!.... should i put it on ur face?"
