I was sitting here catching up on some rates, and just drinking some beer. It's been a decent weekend. I did some woodworking, and was generally have a relaxing time. I was also listening to some music I had downloaded (legally).
I had downloaded some music from Luke Bryan (I like his songs We Rode In Trucks, and All My Friends Say.) There's a song I had not heard, and it just hit me right.
See when I was home last time, I stopped by and saw Grandma Wila Mae, my step-mom's mom. She told me how one of Grandad's prized possessions was a picture of me holding a fish. It was the first time he took me fishing at the Konawa Power Plant. I was the only one who caught a fish, a 3 and half pound bass. He loved to tell this story, and his favorite part was about the ride home. I was "awfully" quiet, and he asked how I liked the trip. He always had to stop and laugh, but his face would light up and tell about how my face lit up and said: I like it a lot, since I was the only one who caught anything.
Grandad was never my step grandpa. He was my grandad. He always had time for me, and he always listened. He died when I was in Warrior's Leadership Course in July 2007, and I still have yet to visit his grave. I can't bring myself to do it. I have lost so much due to my career, and I am still kicking myself for not being there to say my final goodbyes.
The song is "Tackle Box" by Luke Bryan. It is not that great of a song, but it just hits home because he would always take me fishing. I had to get up and walk away to let me regain my composure.
I cried when I saw Grandma Wila Mae, but she told me that he understood why I wasn't there. I just can't forgive myself. I've lost too many people. I wasn't there for too much.
