It's been ALONG time since i have written a blog but right now i am crying and i need honest opinion's about myself. I need you to tell me what is it that i am missing to attact and keep a man in my life ?? Ok, i will tell you about myself....
My real name is Samantha. I am 24 year's old and i am living in Nova Scotia Canada. Orginally i was born and raised in Ontario except for 9 month's when i was 9 year's old and my family moved to Alberta hopeing to find more work with it being in the end very disappointing but we moved back to Ontario and in 1998 we moved to Nova Scotia as my father is from here and me only having 1 grandparent left (she live's here of course) and my parent's thought that us moving here would give me one last chance to have a grandparent in my life, that really didn't turn out good, won't get into detail's about that.
When i was 14 year's old i met my husband, we were high school sweetheart's and when i was 17, we ended up getting married and loosing both of our virginty's on our wedding night, which i am very proud to say. About a year later we found out we were going to have a baby and on October 27 2002 at 9:09 am i gave birth to our baby girl in which we named her Brandi Gail, having her middle name is after my mother Gail, we have a very close and tight relationship, same with my father in which i can talk to both of them about anything and i mean everything, for ex. if i am having problem's in the bedroom with my man, they will give me tip's and advice, that is how close we are.
3 year's into the marriage, 6 year's of being together and this time our daughter was 18 mpnth's old my husband started to act strange, being gone all the time and when he was home he was picking a fight with me and not wanting to go anywhere near myself or Brandi plus the sex was gone then one evening he was doing a beer run for his father and he said he was dropping off a two-four of beer and he said he would be right back, he call's saying his car broke down and 2 day's had past and i did not hear from him, he call's on the 2nd night saying just 4 word's to me and hang's up "I want a divorce".
To make a long story short the reason why he left is because he could not do everything that he wanted to because he had a family and myself and our daughter were nothing but a ball and chain as well as i now know why the sex stopped he was having an affair on me with one of my friend's that got me so angry not to mention that when he did leave i was not working cause he wanted me to be a housewife so i was left with 4 diaper's, 3 can's of milk, no food, rent, bill's and credit card dept. I moved into a smaller home, got a good paying job, put my daughter in daycare cause i was working 40 hour's a week and no one to watch her as the only family in my life can't take care of her.
2 year's ago i meet a man who was one of my co-worker's we dated for a year and a half, at one point we were engaged but we decitied to end the relationship as we were just growing apart however almost a year ago we decitied to become roommate's, that is how well we get along, he is my best-friend and family. I did date a man that we had been friend's for almost 3 year's and we dated a year. From the 1st day of the relationship i was madly in love with this man, more then i have ever loved before in my life but there was a catch, he lived in New York and i live here in Nova Scotia but i believe that if you love someone enough, what ever the speedbump is, you will over come it so but i think i was the only one madly in luv cause he broke my heart.
Long story short for that one, he was constantly cheating on me and everything he told me, he would tell other woman so i wasn't special but we were together for almost a year and we never met in person, we never slept together or even held each other's hand's or even just touched out skin to see just how soft it was i stayed faithfull but because i loved him so much that i'll admit did a number on me emotionally and in some way's i still love him and i still love his children, i still want to be their mom.
I am faithfull, i do not do drug's, i don't drink alot, i have a great personality, i love to make people laugh and or smile, i'm very out going, yes i am a mom and i am proud of it, i am responsible but i do know how to have fun, i love to live life and believe it or not i love to smile. (i just hate smiling in pic's) I am also very effectionate, i like to go out or just stay in, i love to do anything outdoor's and eventually when i find the right now i do want more children however if it's just not possible then that is alright too, i still have my baby girl.
Back to what i wrote in the beginning and please do not bash me but what is wrong with me ?? It's been a year since i have had a relationship please tell me what am i missing ?? Why does no man want me ?? Why am i not worth it ?? I mentioned a couple of ex's, maybe please can you answer it too ?? Why do all men stop loving me ?? Girl's if you read this too cause you help me ?? WHY AM I ALONE ?? *Wipeing tear's from my eye's*
