Hellooooo to you if you are reading this. If not, then never mind.
I know there are a few people that read my posts, but you just never know if they will be from me or some pearl of wisdom I have found somewhere else to share. This is all mine tonite.
Those of you that have read this blog for the past couple of months will remember postings about Captain Sweetheart. For those of you who are just dropping by, the captain is shown in my photo album. She is a fairly young, attractive, and charming woman I have been friends with for a couple of years. We work together at the same mega-corporation.
This past spring, the Capn began sharing stories with me about her living situation, point being that hubby was abusive and violent. There is nothing I hate more than violence to children, but domestic violence towards either spouse is a close second. She asked for my help.
Being the kind person I am, and believing in her sincerity - she is VERY charming - I agreed to let her stay with me and I would help her out of this bad situation. Of course, I am not what you would call a "prize catch" so this sort of attention from a woman like that, and my kindly nature, of course I bought it.
Long story short, I treated her like a family member. I took care of her 3rd grade daughter like she was my own. I helped her emotionally and financially. I neglected my friends and family, I neglected myself. I did everything I could to make her feel at home and get her through that divorce and a coincidental visitation battle with the daughter's father going on at the same time.
Well yesterday, I threw the capn out on her sweet a$$. Of course, she was just using me to get away from her mistake, marrying a deadbeat she thought was wealthy. He hadn't even paid for the wedding ring he bought for her 3 years ago. Everyone was suing him for debts. She thought she would be taken care of the rest of her life, and she was screwed. She would also have to pay off these debts. He made a lot more of them trying to make her happy.
No way I make that mistake. But, I did make the mistake of caring about her, and caring about the little girl. It always makes me wonder how these people sleep at night. Worse yet, what is she teaching her little girl? OMG! I wish I had the time and you had the interest to include the details. Just let me say that her true colors finally bled through the facade, and that caring for her turned to disappointment and heartbreak. It's even worse for the child, she did no wrong, except having the capn for her mother.
Now the little one will go forward having been told I am a very bad man that treated her mom poorly, and I can never make that up to her. Of course at some point she will start to understand that mom has issues, but for now she is only 8. She hugged me goodbye and we both cried, as capn yelled at her to get into the car right effen now (duma$$ was used in there too towards the girl, too). I am tearing up as I type that.
Bottom line, capn would never admit that she caused any problems, in her mind the problems were all mine. It's also sad when we blame others for our problems, but pathetic when we refuse to believe it was really owr own doing. I guarantee that hte people she has told got an earful about the fantasy BS she made up about me, and she already has another mark in her sights. Actually two, the main mark is a quadraplegic, and there is also another one on the fringe that has working male body parts. A girl can't get by on gold digging alone, she needs some action on a timely basis.
OK, I am done with this sad excuse of a story. I just want to make one last point. I could not sleep with a clear conscience if I am asked for help and flatly refuse to do so. I can only do that if there is an obvious reason not to do so. I have helped many people. I have had people help me in the past, so "paying it forward" is something I beleive in.
I would rather take a chance on being heartbroken than to turn my back on a deserving person in need. If just one of these people you help has an epiphany or even just has a better life from what I did, I am ok if there are some losers that didn't deserve my time and energy.
One friend I had helped 3 years ago called me a couple of weeks back, and read me a speech about her feelings and how much she thanked me for the help, I haven't felt that good about myself in a long time.
Ao Aloha, Capn, we thought we knew you.
