Just as I thought things couldn't get worse, it does. I have to have surgery on my left knee on the 29th, and I have absolutly NO ONE to fuckin help me with my home or my daughter afterwards. So I'm fucked, royally. Friday, I have to get some testing done and be examined to see if I have epilespy, because Thursday, I felt like I was having a panic/anxiety attack, but my face, hand, and feet went numb and tingly, my whole body started shaking really bad, and I was crying uncontrollably, and my dr agreed that it could have been a mild epileptic seizure. I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance WITH my daughter, and all they did was checked my heart rate, blood, and to see if I had a fever. Why the fuck didn't they do any testing on me that day? Now, I have done some reading about epilepsy and seizures, and some of the things I have read about them, compairs to what I experienced Thursday afternoon. Fucking great, huh? I'm already suffering BPD, Bi-Polar, PTSD, and still suffering from PPD. How much more demons am I gunna have battling with me in my life time? Then one of the paramedics that came into my home called DFS, because my home wasn't in "top shape". Note: I was in the middle of cleaning my home, and then the attack happened. So after I got home from the hospital, I stayed up until 3 am, making sure MY HOUSE was fucking sparkling and to MY likings. The woman from DFS showed up around 3 pm, and was upset that the people called to have me inspected, because in a case such as mine, and the state of mind that I was in the pervious day, they shouldn't have called DFS AT ALL. She was pleased that my home was spotless and clean, she saw that I had plenty of food in my fridge, freezer and my pantries, and went on her happy lil way out the door. NOW the story gets even better.............The childrens dad calls me this evening, so I could talk to my daughter that he has. All of a sudden, I hear him in the back ground, yelling, screaming, and banging around. Then I hear his ex fiancee yelling back to leave her alone, and to quit hitting her. My daughter, went into her bedroom, and hid in her closet scared, and telling me that she didn't wanna be there anymore, because daddy yells all the time. So I went upstairs, and asked my landlord if I could use his home phone to call 911 in Columbia, Mo. Well, I told the dispatcher what the hell was going on and let them know that this isn't his first time being abusive towards a woman, that he was abusive towards me before, during and after both pregnancies for nearly 4 years. So She said that she was going to have the police out there for me, and that I was going to stay anonumos. By that time, my daughter was hysterical on the other line, and I was getting angry, because I can hear them in the back ground yelling and screaming. The police finally showed up, and I can hear my daughter crying, and then an officer asked who I was, and I told him that I was the mother of the baby...............and I can hear my daughter in the back ground screaming that she didn;t want her dayy to go to jail. He was resisting arrest, so they had to fight him to the ground, and I was on the phone for like 5 minutes yelling for someone to come back and tell me what's going on because my daughter is there, but no one did. I had to hang up. It took me an hour to finally get a hold of his ex fiancee, and she told me that he was going to be in jail for the rest of the evening, and that she had to take my daughter to a reletives because she's not the mother, and her family didn't want any problems with the ass when he was bailed out. So now I'm worried where my daughter is, and how she's doing. If I have to go and get her, I will, and I'll bring her back to Utah with me. She CAN'T be around that psycho asshole of a father anymore. She'd rather be here anyways, with her sister and I, than to be with that freak. I have so many damn worries and stress going on, I just need prayers from everyone who believes in God, and I'll pray also.
