Its official I am a fucking idiot. I had everything I wanted or needed happening. I have a job, moving into my own place, starting over and have a family on the way. Then I go and do something stupid out of emotional lashing out and udder stupidity and screwed up everything. There is no way of justifying the things that have happened or the things I have done to fuck shit up. Granted I have things that I can be upset about and hurt over but not for the extent that it all went. Then I make it further the worse cuz I cant keep my damn mouth closed when I need to and further alienated the only person I had left on my side. I cant leave well enough alone. NOPE--Gods forbid, but Jeremy is right--I seemingly cant help but sabotage my life when its going good. This isnt what I want. I had what I wanted and I am pretty sure I just got rid of it all with one stupid action and about 5 or 6 stupid sentances. I dont know if I can fix this one or not. Actually I doubt that I can. There is only so far I can push before I push everything away. And I am sure I just did that. Now I am left wondering--whats gonna happen with my girls?
