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It's almost one in the morning and am about to head to bed and just had a bunch of thoughts rambling through my head and figured what the hell, may as well share a few.
Ya know.. The only "relationship" I have been in in the last 20 yrs has been which had been this on again off again booty call that lasted for 2 and a half years and officially ended 8mos ago. The funny thing about it is that I hadn't realized I guess that I had fallen for the bastard untill we had ended things. Funny how shit happens. You get used to things being the way they are. I mean it was great.. We may not see each other for weeks or even talk to each other just as long, but ya know there was always that notion that that other person would always be there. I guess the thing it made me realize is that I had spent so much of my life making sure I didn't need anyone that it was too late pretty much to let him know I needed him because by that time he had started seeing someone else.. Now he is married. Even more uncanny is that we are better friends now and communicate more now than we had ever had when we were seeing each other. That being strictly as friends even.
It has made me think of this. If and I strongly mean if. I am one of those people who was meant to be in a relashionship, I would be in one. I just don't think I am. It isn't that I don't think I am incapable it's just not a priority for me and never has been. I guess I'm like whatever. Who knows..perhaps just haven't come across that guy who makes me want to change my ways and give up my space..
