Sadly, I had to spend Christmas and the New Years alone. As a result I've been trollin' Fubar and trying to find a lounge that I fit in with. Having a hard time with it as my humor is 10% stupid, 10% corny, 20% funny, and 60% adult. Language is free, but few lounges has made me feel welcome. Maybe I'm not interacting enough and fading into the background, but it seems like you have to be apart of the group already to be apart of the group (hopefully that makes sense).
Anyway, the past few days I've seen breasts, sex, drinking, and more. It's been a great way to welcome the new year, and I can't seem to get enough of it. Guess I'm a typical guy in that sense. What's strange now, is that I'm looking at them with a new eye. Rather than see women in a objectified light, I find myself admiring them and their bodies. The shape of the curves, the softness of their breasts, their tone bodies and silky skin. Mostly I admire their courage to show their beauty and sexual appetite.
I know that probably make me a pig, but it's the supple beauty that I see. Then I try to see beyond that, in the brief time I see them, and admire the woman behind the shell. I'm wondering if I'm making any sense.
I guess this goes back to living in the "now". Trying to milk the most out of all my experiences and eek out the most I can from each moment. Not just enjoy the superficial, but let my mind go and explore the possibilities of the moment.
Right now I feel like a vouyer, looking at life while experiencing it at the same time. I find myself just enamoured with the diversity that I see. I can't believe all the combinations and variations I've experienced as people celebrate being alive. From women that have the courage to celebrate their sexuality to those that show their minds are indeed the most erotic thing about them. I can't help but laugh when I see a man doing his best to capture the attention of someone he's attracted to. No type of person is sexier than any other type.
I step out on the pourch and find my breathe taken away at the beauty I see in nature. Right now the snow is clinging to the trees shrouding them in lace. And even though I hate the winter, the cold, and the snow, I can't help but admire the natural painting around me.
With all the amazing combinations of life from the joy of a dog bounding through the snow, the complexity of human interactions, I am disheartened when I find those that are wrapped up in problems to the point of being blind to what's going on around them. It saddens me to know things are so bad for them that the joy of living is sucked out of them. I've been there and know how overwhelming the trouble can be. I also know how easy it is to be distracted by them. But I've found also, that with determination and practice, one can live in the "now" and squeeze life out of each moment leaving not a drop of the moment behind. I know happiness now, and I'm glad that I can share this with y'all. Writing these blogs also help me to continue to focus on this new course of my life and hopefully it will help those who take the time to read these posts.
Once more, I'd like to wish everyone a Happy New Year and welcome y'all into 2009. May this be the year that all your dreams come true.
