Well, wow. Where to begin this... I went to hang out with Adam right? And, just, hanging out with him was so awesome. I mean, he, is so incredibly sweet. And, like, FUN to be around... I'm comfortable around him. He, makes me smile, and he doesn't even realize it. And, he was holding my hand, and doing the little, like rubbing thing, ya know, ya do when you're holding hands with someone... I was just like... wow. And, I'm comfortable with him. Thats the BIG thing here... I'm comfortable with him. I really, really like this guy.
AANNDD, then.... we started like making out... aaaannnnndddd for the record.... OMG he's an amazing kisser... And, that led... to, well... us having sex. Which, SOOOO, wasn't my intention. I wasn't just, hanging out with him to have sex with him. It, kinda, just, happened... But... WOW. He is amazing in bed. Like... yeah. I mean, wwooww... seriously. Its hard to explain in words... but, It was fucking amazing.
And, ttthheeennn after all of that, like, wwooww.... we just, sat in the living room, and were looking at pictures, and stuff. And, just being right there with him, and, having him hold me.. wow. I can't explain how amaing it feels in his arms. (and, for the record... OMFG he's gorgeous... and OMFG he's got this body, and like.. yeah.. wow...) But, of everything... when we were standing in his living room... and he was just holding me... And i was like, looking in his eyes... I just like, wow... for one, he's got gorgeous eyes... and for two, I felt so, like, safe, and happy. Like, i did not want to be anywhere else in the world but right there.
I dunno... After all the bullshit with Andrew it's not like I'm just jumping into something with Adam. I mean, it's not like i'm planning my wedding... It's just, nice. To have him there. To talk to him... god, we spend too much time on the phone lol but i LOVE it. If itt were possible, i would never be OFF the phone... I'd just, talk to him all the time. We can sometimes just sit there... like, silence, isn't BAD... we dont have those "uncomfortable silences"... it's just, a mutual, silence... not a lot... just sometimes.
It's insane how, I just, can't stop thinking about him. About, being with him. I miss him. Already. I missed him right after i left. Terrible isn't it? lol... omg. I've spent so much time, SINGLE, and so much time AVOIDING men (on any serious level....) and them, bam, andrew, now adam... I'm just like, wwwooowww craziness in the man dept. But, I really really like Adam. It's, awesome. I mean, normally, I sit and compare men to each other... and, honestly, I figured I'd wind up comparing adam to andrew... but, I haven't, at all. Adam is, just, amazing. I can't even begin to explain that. Just, HOW he talks to me, the words he chooses, the things he says... Whats funny, I doubt he even realizes it... But, he makes me smile... he makes me happy... I'm, sooo loving this. And, I mean, I don't know whats going to happen between him and I... But, all i know... is, i really like him. And, i WANT him in my life. It's weird. I'm not normally the person to leave a relationship and jump into another one (which, like, there isn't an actual "relationship" between adam and I... I'm not sure, WHAT this is just yet... ) But the point is... i normally don't do that... but the thing is... I liked Adam when I was still WITH Andrew... ANd, honestly, ADAM is all I've been thinking about recently. I find myself, wanting to be with him.... like, right now... have him, here... with me... just holding me... i mean, GOD... i'd love to like, have sex with all the time... because, WOW... he is.. yyeahh amazing. But, thats not even it. Just being around him. He's so awesome...
The awkward thing is, ya know, all of the Andrew shit... But, it all started, what, 3 weeks ago? I've had 3 weeks to get over him. I've had 3 weeks to decide if I really want to try to pursue him, or let him go. Last Thursday, when he was, being, very very very bad.... (i don't feel like posting his life problems in my blog) and he told me he loved me and wanted to be with me... I told him to call me... he said he would. And he didn't... that was when I realized, it was over. And, I was ok with it... I haven't cried since the bullshit text messages... and I am ok with it... I'm ok... Andrew isn't ACTING like he wants to be with me... so, i mean, i had to let go... I had to move on... And, Adam's been here, and I want him... on so many levels...
This is all just pretty weird. I didn't really expect to start liking him this much... he just, amazes me. It's cheesy, I'll sit smiling because I'm thinking about him, and not even realize it... and I'm just, smiling... I find myself wanting to talk to him, and habe him hold me, and kiss me... and, god.. just... wow. I can't stop thinking about him.
I dunno... I don't understand men, and I can't think like a man... so I'm trying not to, like, i dunno... scare him? lol I just... really... I didn't expect to just, click, with him the way I did... I'm such, an, ANTI-MAN person... men suck, and I hate them... and yet, Adam, is just... wow. I mean, he's constantly talking to me (and when he's at work i get the cute messages that he's been thinking of me... and phone calls at lunch...) I mean... wow.. This is terrible lol
Still thinking about him...
Lol
Ok, well, anyhow...
It's almost noon. Adam will be going on lunch soon... aanndd I'm hoping I get to talk to him :D cuz, wow, I'm cheesy like that...
soo, yeah...
