1. I am not crazy but I honestly believe a couple of my other personalities have serious issues.
2. I have never been comfortable scratching myself in public, and truly believe that is why major league baseball has blackballed me.
3. I am currently an inmate at the central Florida home for the criminally ridiculous. I am battling an addiction to prescription placebos. I was given them to help me get over the withdrawal symptoms while kicking a severe Pixi-Stix habit. It started with a couple of small straws on the weekends. Before I knew it I was up to 3 Super-Stix a day (yeah the big plastic fuckers). Its been tough at times, but I dont have to worry about standing on a street corner selling my body for a roll of sweet-tarts ever again.
4. I have a friend in Montana who got arrested for having sex with a minor even after I told him that sheep were notorious for lying about their age.
5. People think I take things way too seriously.
6. Umm I like cheese.
(What the fuck did you expect from me?)