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this is going to be a long one. about five years ago i saved 2 of my grandchildren from a fire, i was burnt 80% oof my body with first, second and third degree burns, my lungs collapsed, the doctors put me in a drug induced coma for five weeks, i was in the hospital for 3 months, when this first happened the doctors tried everything they could do to keep me from dying, but the doctors at osu burn clinic told my mother that a higher power saved me, because spite all their efforts to stop me from dying, then trying to bring me back, was useless, yes, i had a death experience, bu tthats betwen me and god,68% of my body is grafted, i had three major skin graft operations and was given twenty pints of blood between the three, i am tested every year for aids, though i know i don't have it cause god healed me of any damage or diseases made to my blood, but thanks to the fact that the doctors pumped me full of massive amounts of steroids to ward off infection. i now have type 2 diabetese, i also have ling damage due to the fact i inhaled the fire, thanks to the steroids and the use of avandia to treat diabetes i know have congestive heart failure, i also have to have my eyes tested for cataracts every year, i haved ulcers in my throat,polips removed, and stomache ulcers,and on top of that i was just diagonsed with a bad case of sleep apnea, i still try to find beauty in every day, and in life itself, i take 13 pills in the morning 7in the evening, and 7 at night, and i sleep with a mask on my face at night. so this explains my health, some days i have what i call my bad or rough days, i'm just plain wore out and all i want to do is sleep. now i'll explain what i feel is my obligations. my first obligation is to god, he put me here for a reason, and brought me back for a reason, i still wonder what for sometimes, the second obligation is to myself, i live alone, i'm independant and i've been married three times, don't want to go there again, won't say never i'll just say don't want too, and i don't want to live with anyone either, third is to my family and home, in the past eight months my mother has had 2 strokes and been hospitalised 4 times, each time i stay continuesly with her, when she comes home i stay a few days, i make a round trip of fifty miles twice a week to help take care of her, twice a week home health does it and the rest of the time my stepdad does it, plus several times a month i go to doctor appointments and run errands for them, since i am on ssi and ss i clean houses and do odd jobs to earn extra money thanks to gas being the price it is, my brother just moved out, so i've been packing for him, and helping him move, my aunt who's property i live on is 62, works full time, so i cook dinner for her and i every night,plus i run errands for her, and i've been cooking for a family reunion we just had for 2 days,4th is to my home and dog, its a 1985 52x14 trailor, thats right lol, i'm trailor trash, but its mine,paid for and i'm in the middle of remodeling it, my dog doc scurlock is just like one of my kids, and i walk him several times a day, besides the toys and bath once a week, the vet visits, the taking and posting of pics of him, then there's my real life friends, one has just lost her 28 yearold retarded daughter, the other lives in cols,ohio and has ms, and another is recovering from cancer, i call or go to see them regularly, besides talking to my own kids and grandchildren, then there's my eternet friends and family that i love dearly, i try to contact each of my friends, fans and family at least once a week, i have a ct boyfriend who shall be nameless,lol, we're still in the crush stage, and then i just joined the git-r=done family, i try to full fill my friendships and obligations to the best of my abilities, and if sometimes its not good enough, then read the damn blog and you'll inderstand why, i have enough stress on me already,please don't add to it, i love ya all,ksdragonfire
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