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Divorced mom’s dating application :D Do You __________? 1.) Like Kids? 2.)Want kids of your own? 3.)Have kids of your own? 4.)Use recreational drugs? If yes, How often? 5.)Drink? If yes, How often? 6.)Smoke? 7.)Refrain from smoking inside the home and car? 8.)Have friends? If yes, do they have real names? 9.)Regularly hang out late at night with women you have seen naked nightly? If yes, do they have names like Raven, Mystique, Mercedes, Sassy, Porsche, Star, and Madison? 10.)Think it is appropriate to have nude photos of female "friends" (who are not your spouse/sig-o) in your cell phone? 11.)Drink and Drive? 12.)Drink or Drive? 13.)Own reliable transportation? 14.)Play MMORPG's? 15.)Have any hobbies? What are they? Can you share them with another person? 16.)Know all the words to "The Itsy Bitsy Spider?" 17.)Ever just want to take your sig-o out to dinner and the movies for fun? 18.)Like Chuck Norris jokes? 19.)Ever think things through before doing them? 20.)Blow things up for fun? 21.)Remember your mom's birthday every year? 22.)Enjoy going to the park? 23.)Stand up for yourself? 24.)Often say yes to things you forget about later? 25.)Like Tom Waits? 26.)Like to read? 27.)Think learning is fun? 28.)Have baby momma drama? 29.) Like Cats? 30.)Like cats? 31.)Like Jesus Christ Superstar? 32.)Like Sweeney Todd? 33.)Have a steady income? With Benefits? 34.)Have an ex with benefits? 35.)Organize in piles? 36.)Keep trophies of your ex's? 37.)Have credit card debt you can't pay off in full this month? 38.)Enjoy giving a massage? 39.)Enjoy giving a foot run? 40.)Ever let your partner finish first? 41.)Keep going if you do? Do You know? 1.)Know how to feed a baby? 2.)Know what a baby eats? 3.)Know what an infant eats? 4.)Know what a toddler eats? 5.)Know how to make a grilled cheese? 6.)Know what forethought is? 7.)Know how to clean a toilet? 8.)Know how to stain treat laundry? 9.)Know how to put dishes away? 10.)Know how to prepare a small dinner for 3 that doesn't come from a box and contains more than 2 food groups? 11.)Know when you're tired? 12.)Know your limits? 13.)Know how to empathize? 14.)Know women that don't work for you? 15.)Know what constitutes a choking hazard for someone under 3? 16.)Know how to follow a recipe? True/False 1.)Potatoes are a vegetable. 2.)Sausage is good for you. 3.)Dawn dish detergent goes in the dish washer. 4.)"LVL 70 prst LFG 4 ANY instance" turns you on. 5.)You are killing time doing surveys while your troll is fishing for oily black mouths. 6.)You have turned down sex because your NE was mining. 7.)Sex can wait, 8.)I am seeking a long term monogamous relationship. 9.)Newborn babies are cute. 10.)You often lie to get chicks. 11.)You would rather have a one night stand. 12.)Sex is more fun than watching football. 13.)Sex is more fun than videogames. 14.)You can multitask. 15.)You have never been to prison. 16.)You have never been to jail. 17.)You have never been convicted of child abuse, neglect, molestation or statutory rape. 18.)People should have sex more than once a month 19.)People should have sex more than once a day. 20.)It's okay to cheat if you just really needed the attention. 21.)Africa is a really big country. 22.)Cuba is located in south Florida. 23.)A girl can have a male friend that she is not fucking. 24.)Cooking is too much trouble. 25.)It's important to be the man you want your daughter to marry. Pop Quiz: 1.) Prioritize the following: a.)smokes b.)food c.)cable t.v. d.)high speed internet e.)rent f.)air rifles g.)winter coat h.)shoes 2.) Susie's dog ran away. How does susie feel? a.) Sad b.) Who cares? Susie's a bitch anyway. c.) Who cares? the dog was annoying. d.) Happy 3.) Susie's Husband failed to feed their daughter all day while Susie was at work. When she came home the baby wasy crying and dehydrated. How does Susie feel? a.) Scared and Angry b.) Who cares? Susie's a bitch anyway. c.) Who cares? It's not like the baby ever said it was hungry. d.) Apathetic 4.) Susie just had a baby 3 months ago. She is currently breastfeeding. Her husband won't watch the baby so she can go work out. Her husband comes home and says "I heard about these new experimental weightloss pills that are supposed to increase your sex drive. I wrote the number down for you." How does Susie feel? a.)Fat, unattractive, sad, and angry b.)Who cares? Susie is a bitch anyway c.)Happy that her husband suggested this miracle drug! 5.) Susie's husband always gets out of work at the strip club late. He never knows when he will be home. He quit having sex with Susie. He never wants to take Susie out in public. Susie finds another woman's lipstick in her car. She once found glitter on his dick. And tonight, he has to "Spend the night" at work . . . again. What might Susie think. a.)This is totally normal behavior that anyone woman should put up with from her husban'd job. b.)Who cares? Susie is a bitch anyway. c.)She has been cheated, on lied to, frustrated, sad, and her husband finds her unattractive. d.)Happy that she has the house to herself all night. 6.) When does the next Halo come out? 7.) What did Horton Hear? 8.) You want to vege out and watch TV, your sig-o wants to cuddle. What do you do? 9.) What did the Grinch Steal? 10.) On what continent are tigers considered native? 11.) Where do Lions live? 12.) Does your friend from Africa know my friend Sarah? She grew up there too! 13.) What is the name of the crab in "The Little Mermaid?" 14.) Cooler "Little Mermaid" Hans Christian Anderson or Disney? 15.) What is your preferred method of birth control. 16.) Time is: a.) Something you make b.) Something left over at the end of the day 17.) Prioritize the following: a.)work b.)family c.)health d.)chocolate e.)personal time f.)football g.)t.v. h.)internet i.)sex 18.) Name 5 cleaning products and their uses: a.) b.) c.) d.) e.) 19.)Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? 20.)When is Valentine's Day? 21.)What are a woman's duties? 22.)What are a man's duties? 23.) Use there, their, and they're in sentences. a.) b.) c.) 24.) (x+y)(x+y) 25.) Who wrote "The Hogfather?" 26.) rý * ã * h = ? 27.)û256 28.) rý * ã = 29.) 2ãr = Back Ground: 1.)College GPA: 2.)Which of the following tests have you taken? GED SAT ACT HIV STD BAR LSAT PSAT 3.)How old are you? 4.)How many hours a day do you spend in front of the tv and computer? 5.)Why did you and your ex terminate your last relationship? 6.)How long did your longest relationship last? 7.)What is currently hanging on your doorknob? 8.)Who is your favorite author? Personality: 1.) How old do you wish you were? Why? 2.)Can you deal with baggage? 3.)Are you capable of empathy? 4.)Who is your favorite Author? 5.)What was the last book you read? 6.)When did you read it? 7.)Can you be respectful to the friends of your sig-o 8.)Do you feel comfortable in a group? 9.)If money were not an issue, what 5 things would you do? a.) b.) c.) d.) e.) 10.)Can you love a woman who overcooks your steak? 11.)Would you ever read a book based on a video game? 12.)How often do you call your mom? 13.)What is your dream job? What steps have you taken to obtain it? 14.)What would you rather be doing right now? 15.)What 2 things would you do if you wouldn't get caught or punished? a.) b.) 16.)If you could travel back in time, what would you do differently? 17.)What are your long term goals? What are you doing to achieve them? 18.)How do you feel about birthdays? 19.)Could you raise a child that was not born to you as your own? 20.)Can you handle baby daddy drama? 21.)Is it easier to say no or to say yes and then forget it? 22.)What are you looking for in a relationship? 23.)Are you able to be interested in someone else's hobbies and interests? 24.)How do you feel about committment? 25.)What would you expect from a marriage partner? 26.)Could you assist in raising a child while the mom worked and went to school without being resentful? 27.)If dating you would I ever have to deal with: a.)glitter on your penis? b.)another girl's lipstick and trash left in my car? c.)you coming home late because you had to drive a stripper home (to another town)? d.)another girl having her hands down your pants? e.)"I'm spending the night at work . . . again . . . because __________?" f.) finding nude pictures of your female friends in you cell phone and none of me? g.)sitting in the car for 30-45 minutes - waiting for you to drop by work on your day off - while "on a date" that had been planned several weeks in advance? h.)not getting laid on instance night? i.)saying yes when you mean no? j.)not helping with the kid or the house because you don't feel like it . . . for a year? k.)excuses/reasons for everything that goes wrong? 28.)Can you learn from your mistakes? 29.)Does the world throw more at you than you can handle? 30.)Do as I say, not as I do Do as I do Do what your heart tells you is right 31.)Consitency is very important to me, are you able to follow through with plans and promises? 32.)How do you feel about this quote? "Security is measured by the number of promises kept. Every child understands a promise-if it is kept-and looks foward to the next promise. . . You build security slowly but regularly." Dr. Larch, Cider House Rules by John Irving
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