Greeter Darkviper1969FuHubby to Hotma4uK...'s blog: "A new poem."

It's really something how there always seem to be someone that you loved and just can't seem to get mad at.I've been doing good at coping with my heartbreak up till last night before work when I viewed a email my ex online girlfriend sent.It had some new pics of her In It.No Ideal what happened to the poem that was supposed to be here.But Here It Is I've to rewrite It: Will I Ever Healed Will my heart ever healed?Emails sent to me with nothing but pictures In them of you In them only stirred up my emotions even more reminding me that I'm not even closed to be over you.For my heartbeats strongly for you,and yet you seen to be distance from me even more.A email sent from you to me goes unanswered as I replied back to you,a game you seem to be playing with me that I can't win.For you seem to the master at what you do,why I'm the fool without a clue.Without a hope at ever reaching fulfillment of being one with you heart and soul.I go on In life living,but yet dead Inside at the same time.And I'm left wondering what went wrong with us.

It's so funny how loved can send you soaring high In the air only to let you crashed when the person you loved Is like totaling ignoring you when you know they are on yahoo messenger because you are stealth and see them come on.I'm always stealth till I see a friend come on then I make myself visible to them.So they know that I'm online.I seen my online girlfriend come on so I made myself appeared online for her.She been avoiding me since Saturday.She was on like 10 minutes and not 1 im from her.She logged back out leaving me depressed and wondering whats going on with her too.I mean If a girl gonna tell you she loves you only to avoid you for days and days at a time how does It supposed to work out.I feel like a cheat go between or second best,thats only needed when It suits the other person.And I know I've never treated a girl like too,but yet the nice guy seem to finished last like always In life.Now If I was a player like some of the other guys and only Interested In them for 1 thing she would be knocking my door down.Well enough my depression Is dying to get out so I'll write some more poems to released It now.So here It Is: Second Best I was once your true love you confided In me,confessing your love for me.For I once felt true bliss as I read your email you once sent to me,so full of love as you talked of you and me In the future.Of how badly you wanted me for yourself,a true feeling of peace surrounded me and I no longer felt alone In my life.For I had love to share to share myself with,a love that had lifted me from my darkness and onto the lights of hope.But little did I know It would all crashed down upon me as you became colder to me,leaving me alone and heartbroken.Alone to fight the Inner demons of my past,your loving touched no longer there for me.Just a coldness In my heart and soul that I hide from you,for I desire not to let you see me as second best In your life.For second best Is truely what I feel like I've become.

Another new poem.No Ideal whats going on with my online girlfriend,but she's confusing the heck out of me.I waited for her to email like someone told me to do and It took 2 days.She got deleted from my friends list on the site me and her are on and she email me asking me why I deleted her.So I email her back and told her I didn't delete her and had no Ideal why or how It happened.And then she email me telling me no one Is talking to her anymore.I told her I'm always emailing her,but I don't get anything back half the time.It's like what the heck.Well onto the poem: I'm So Lonely Without You I'm so lonely without you,that the nights and days are blue.A darken cloud above me rains down upon me,covering my my tears up so no one may see them fall.My heartaches for you as I clinged onto you for dear life.My heart grows darker without your love to give It light to It.I felt so blissed when we first talked,a warm feeling overcame me,but as you are not around as much my heart grows colder,and my body grows colder.For there no warmth In me without you,and no kindness to revived my hope.For all my hope In finding someone was gone till I meant you,and as we grow apart the hopeless feeling soon comes back.Haunting my very existence,I often lay awake at times wondering about you and us.Tears often falls as I wondered what could have gone so wrong,A song playing reminds of you set off my emotions and I soon find my eyes flowing tears over you.For If I must forget about you and me then I'm surly doom to feel this way for all time,for forgetting you Is something that I can't seem to do.But yet for you It seen so easy,while for me I'm dying Inside each time I don't here from you.Was I just a fling for you,something to get you over your bumped In life.So I hide my tears the best I can for now and wait on you,while my heart slowly breaks.

Well another poem for everyone to read.This 1 shouldn't be as depressing as the others.At least I hope not: Missing Your Love My heart Is missing your love on this cold night as I wait by the computer awaiting your replied to my email I sent you.I await what I hope to be kind words form your sweet fingers as they type away at the keyboard.A glimpse of heaven I hope to read as I looked at your replied to my warm heart,but you have yet to replied and my day has been a day of worried spent wondering rather or not you are sick or well.For my loved for you holds no bound,and no distance can divide my feelings for you.For only the silence of your heart can fill me with dread as a replied will most likely only come when I awaken from my slumbered.But at least I can dream of you and hold you In my dreams to fight off the cold feeling of the winds that blows through my body cutting me to my very soul.And till we meet In real life a pic of you will sustain me enough to get me through my hardship of life and my struggles In my life.

Well I just woke up from a dream again,Where I dreamed of the girl I loved.She was crying In this dream and all I could do was watched.I was like a ghost In the dream for I couldn't be seen.It was like I was there and yet I wasn't.It didn't last for to long as the alarm clock went off and woke me from my deep sleep with a shaking to my body.Well here my poem: My Love My Madness My love for you Is like a madness It holds sweet joys,and yet a sadness that hurts me deeply at the same time.Visions of you feels my head as I sleep and as I'm awake too.For I know you suffered like I do maybe even more,but my loved for you stills gets me through when I feeling down and beaten.A heartache here and there plague my soul,for I know your time maybe short here.And that the heavens could very well call home at anytime,to a home where I'll never see you again.For my heart Is very afraid of losing you for ever that It tears me Inside to even think of the thought.For I want your love so badly,that I can't think of anything else In the world.A obsession for which my heart has no cure,and yet you not there.A world falling apart around me,like time Itself soon becomes unravel upon me.For time Is of a very short lease for me,and not knowing you Is tearing me apart.But give you your space I'll,For If It waiting for you to come to me I must.

A new poem I found some old song videos from 1 of my fave movies Xandu. I added them to my profile too If you wanna see them too.It's a movie abut muses,They are magical creatures that Inspired you to be succeed In life when you lose hope on everything.Well anyway I've lost hope before all though out my life but there was always something there to picked me and Inspired me to succeed In life.It took me over 15 yrs to write a book of poems but thats almost done too.I believed my muse to be my online girlfriend,because when I meant her I was stormed with a poetic vortex of Ideals.I clanked out 45 love poems about her In last then 2 months.But the sad thing about a muse Is that they tend to fade away when they do their job that they are sent to do never to to be seen again by the person they helped so much In life.Well I'm getting all mushy again and I need to stopped that.Before It gets to bad for me.Onto the poem: So Much Love My heart have so much love to give you,and my soul have so much joy to give you.But you are close to me,for once you were open to my heart and we talked so long.But now you seem so distance to me as I tried to rekindle a flame within your heart.A flame for me that has burned so brightly toward you even In the distance as you moved further away from me.For I tried so hard to Impressed you with romantic thoughts and gestures,but yet you respond not to me.A tune plays In my head and I think off you,a feeling comes over my heart and I feel for you.But as you grow further apart from me my heart aches more for your love that I once had.Memories burns my very soul thinking of you and me together like you once said you wanted to be.A future where you and me are holding each other arms wrapped around each others,lost In each other's eyes like a lover's embraced.But now It all seem so lost to me as I'm force to feel we'll never meet each other.Never feel each other's first kissed or feel each other's body as we dance to the sounds of love In each other heart.For Is a future of love so much to asked for that the gods themselves will denied us our heart desires,or were we never destined to meet at all. I'm feeling drained after writing that 1 I need to lay down and goto sleep now.

Well I woke up feeling blue,at least I've the house to myself today.So no one can see me.I got another email joke from the girl that I love,and they just tear me up.I me she writes me like nothing ever happened.Like she never had any feelings for me at all,And It rips at my heart too.But yet I like getting email from her.I mean does It make any sense?And I look at her pics all the time too and think how great It would be to just be with her on Christmas.Like I know thats gonna happened.Well onto the poem: A Hurtful Torment Memories of you lingered In my head feeling my heart with hurtful torment.For my heart hurts so badly that feels like It's gonna bust Into a thousand parts.For I love you so much,but yet you seem to not feel the same anymore.Was It something not said that turned you cold toward me?Or was It just meant to happened that way?For once I was as happy as I can be waking up to a heartfelt email from you,for I love you was somewhere In the email .But now I'm force to face another day without hope,and as I write you back I type In the three magical words that I love you hoping to get a replied back that will free my heart from It's pain and send It soaring again.But no replies come from my email to you.Only more emails from you with more jokes and of Christmas stuff you send.Your attention toward me kills my heart a little more each day as I read them,hoping to see a hint of of love In them.But no love I see,as I read them only tears flow from my eyes and a throbbing pain In my heart to remind me how love can be here 1 day and gone the next.

Well my online girl Is still emailing me,but no I love you or anything like that.Just joke and she not emailing them to everyone like she was doing before just to me.But when I replied to her she gives no replies back for some reason If anyone can give me Insight as to how the female persona works and how to read It I would be very happy to hear It.But for now another poem for your pleasure: New Hope New hopes of you In my future brings me great joy a smile upon my face.Tears once shred strained my face like rain mixing with a freshly painted house,decorating my face for all to see.I once seen I loved you In all my emails,but I've not seen you write In for so very long.My heart shrugs It off as you being just sick,but my gut tells me differently as a sign that you have lost hope In ever meeting me and losing faith In our love.For I once told you when we first started talking never to lose hope In what we have for we'll meet In real life.A joy waiting for us to partake In,and Love to to be joined by kissing and lots of love.For our two bodies joined as one for the first time In a joyous embraced.For I've not lost hope of rekindling a fire deep within your heart for your affection my sole desire,my soul reached out for you In It's loving touched every time I dream of you.And my heart sends out love to you each time I think of you.For my heart has new hope of a you and me.

Well another poem,I'm listening to mushy love song once again thinking of love.And comes up with another poem.And here It Is: Desires Set Afire My love for you knows no limit,for even though you are far away from me.My heart bleeds for you,even though your heart has stopped loving me,my heart keeps on loving you In hopes of rekindling your desires.For my sole desire for you,without your loved I feel all cold Inside.A vacant place where my heart beat madly Is left bear,for only scars remained there.Silent tears cried for you and tears shred out loudly remind me that the world Is a cold place Indeed as the chills of sorrows overpowered me .But fight on Is what I must do,for If I've hopes of loving once more I must healed from the Inside as well as the outside too.And I must at least tried to win you back before I give up on you altogether,for quiting Is not a option for me In life.For If I have given up a long time ago I would've died a long time ago,for without love life Is as worthless as seeds without water.For no life can become of them,just as my love for you needs you to loved me me too for It to grow stronger.So I must continued to tried to set your desires afire for me once more.