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alright this is going to be a weird blog but...here goes...
well it starts when me and my son's dad split up...i felt i had no meaning in life...i've had people going in and out of mine and my kid's life but it seem as thought sooo much shit has happened to me and no one was going to keep their promise to actually stay around...i felt as though i didn't have a care in the world anymore about anything..i started taking anti-depressants to feel good..more like a fake ass smile and living a lie of being happy...well years of being pushed down by people i thought actually gave a damn about me and my son...just when i thought i could just lose any emotion i had in my body...losing people in 1 yr and having no help with allen really as a father figure for him to go by...well i felt my life was going nowhere and i thought i would just end up being alone in life...he walks in..Chris sean horstmann...he brought out the real true happines inside that i never thought exist...he has taken my life in the other direction and made it worth living and caring about...i love him sooo much..i would do anything for him just so he wouldn't have to hurt or feel pain ever again...i love everything about him..he's my world,my life,my knight...the guy i've always had dreams about...i feel destiny has brought us together cuz we both want and need the same thing..i yearn for him...he's everything i've wanted and soooo much more...he's going to be my husband one day cuz i feel in my heart that he is the one for me...he makes me smile and feel great about who and what i am...when i'm feeling a little bit sad he pick me right back up and puts me back on that high grounds...i have not a single guard up for him to break down...he doesn't hold a judge on me or against me...he keeps telling me i'm beautiful and how much i mean to him..i'm finding the words to slowly confess my true feelings for him...emotionally i love him and i need him..i want him to be with me for the rest of my life...chris you are my one and only...i want to keep you forever...my love for you will never change! i wanna grow old with you...you are my life! muah! thank you for showing me i can love again and not feel hurt to do so....i love you babe!
xDx
ps i dont care if you people think i'm corny for this blog...i just want chris to know i love him and i wanna be with him til death do us part!
