A 'Magic Personality Trait' That Attracts Women
>If you'd like to read the story of how I learned
to succeed with women and dating, plus see video
clips of every one of my programs, then go and
check this out:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/Catalog/
***QUESTION FROM A READER***
Dave,
I decided to get this area of my life - "dating" -
handled no matter what about a year ago. I had a
lot of internal problems with self-esteem and
self-image. So I started by reading a lot of
self-help books that teach how to use your mind to
change your world - your "reality" as you would
say. That helped me a lot and I started seeing
things very differently. I became more confident
and more importantly, more determined and
convinced that I could get this handled for
myself. But I still didn't understand the science
of "attraction" specifically. I knew there had to
be some reason why some guys got tons of women
while others went without but I just didn't "get
it."
I ordered your book about 8 months ago and it
helped me tremendously because I started to
understand attraction and it also motivated me to
get out in the field and start working on my
skills. I read many books on attraction and
watched movies with "romantic heroes," like James
Bond. I started going to [other] web-sites and
signed up for a bunch of newsletters (yours are by
far the best, by the way).
Over the next 6 months, I had more success with
women then I've ever had in my life. I got tons
of numbers, learned to flirt a little bit, and
went on more dates than I had over the past couple
years combined. So, when your Advanced CD series
came out, I bought that too and it's been another
great help. I like the CD series a little better
than your book because it emphasizes the "inner
game" more instead of straight "techniques." I
think a lot of people - including myself at one
point - are under the impression that the right
"line" is going to get them laid. I think the
opposite: when you're feeling unstoppable, then
you'll exude it and just about anything you say
will work. Further, body language is SO MUCH more
important than words - that took me a long time to
figure out and really understand. Anyway, your CD
series addresses these concepts in detail and it
really helped me.
My success story is different from the others
usually in your mailbag because its still a work
in progress. For whatever reasons, I wasn't able
to read your book and then immediately go out and
get laid by 6 different hotties in 2 weeks, like
some of your readers. It's not discouraging for me
because I know that I'm 300% better at this now
than I was a year ago and I'm working on this
skill every single day and eventually I'm going to
get to where I want to be- there's no doubt in my
mind. I think you say this often and I really
have come to understand it on a deep level over
the past few months: "Dating is a skill that you
can learn." I've learned some skills of dating and
I'm learning others and I'm going to perfect them.
So, when I read your mailbag, I just say to
myself: "Good for those guys - this book must
have put them right over the top. I'm going to
keep working at this and I'll be there soon."
My question for you is how long did it take you to
master all of this? Also, did you get discouraged
along the way and how did you keep picking
yourself up? How did you get yourself to really
believe that this was going to happen for you?
Also, did you notice that you'd get something
figured out and then be at that level trying to
figure the next level out for months and then
finally you'd get the next level figured out and
then you'd be at that level for a long time?
Thanks for your book, CDs, and mailbag - they've
helped me on a deep level. I hope that in a year
or two, I'll be one of the speakers at your live
seminar.
JM Minneapolis
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You have brought up some GREAT points here...
I'd like to comment on some of the things
you've mentioned, then tell you a little about my
personal experience learning this stuff.
The first thing you mentioned is:
"I decided to get this area of my life - "dating"
- handled no matter what about a year ago..."
There are a few KEY words in this statement.
Those words are "NO MATTER WHAT".
I've read many "self help" and "success" books
in my day.
But one of the most important of these books,
in my opinion, was "Think And Grow Rich" by
Napoleon Hill. In this book, he talks about the
idea of DECIDING to do something NO MATTER WHAT.
There's something about saying to yourself and
others, "I'm going to do this thing and I don't
care how long it takes or what I have to do. I'm
going to accomplish it". That is magical.
Now, I don't want to sound like some kind of
freakshow psychic or cult leader... but this
concept is powerful.
I've found that when I use this concept and
REALLY MAKE A COMMITMENT to do something, that it
somehow focuses all of my mental energy on it and
I wind up accomplishing things that I never
thought that I could.
I've also found that when I recommend to others
that they do this, they have all kinds of excuses
that seem to "come up". They say:
"Well, I'm not sure that I want to accomplish it
NO MATTER WHAT..."
...or...
"I don't want to limit myself..."
...or...
"I don't want to tell everyone that I'm going to
do it and then not follow through..."
...etc., etc., etc.
And guess what?
They usually don't accomplish what they want in
life.
I've also noticed that when people I know get
to the point where they actually DO make this
commitment to themselves and others, that they
ALMOST MAGICALLY wind up reaching their goals...
NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE.
This idea has power. A lot of power.
The next thing you mentioned is:
"I had a lot of internal problems with self-esteem
and self-image."
You also mentioned later that you feel like
it's taken you longer than some other guys to
reach the levels of success that you'd like to
reach with women and dating.
I'm not a psychologist, but my experience is
that if you have a lot of issues with your self
image/self esteem, then it's going to take longer
to accomplish just about ANYTHING in life as a
result.
These are DEEP psychological and emotional
issues and they interfere and interact with
EVERYTHING.
I think you've made a VERY WISE CHOICE by
working on those issues as you worked on this
other area. (If you're reading this right now
and you feel like you should work on your self-
image and self-esteem), then go and read THIS:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/DeepInnerGame/
I'll also address the comment you made about
some guys just having more success and having it
faster than others.
First of all, when I choose the letters from
readers to include in these newsletters, I like to
include mostly emails from guys who GIVE SOMETHING
before they ASK for something. And I love success
stories, because they encourage us all (The fact
is that I don't get many emails from readers
saying "this stuff doesn't work for me", but I do
get a few here and there).
But, the long and the short of it is that since
you get to hear a lot of success stories, it SEEMS
like this stuff is really easy for most guys.
But, I'll tell you, we all have our challenges.
We all have areas that are harder to improve than
others and we all want more success... no matter
what level we're at.
Each of us starts out where we start out, and
each of us is on our own path to success. No one
can do this for you, and it would be impossible
for me to tell you how long it's going to take you
to have the kind of success that you want to
have...
I will tell you this though. If you have major
self esteem and self image issues, it's probably
going to take longer than if you don't.
But as far as I'm concerned, the only thing that
matters is YOU getting what YOU want in YOUR life.
It doesn't matter if it takes a week or a year or
a decade. If you need to accomplish this for
yourself, then do what it takes, "no matter what".
No one is going to do it for you... that's for
sure.
And there's no feeling like the feeling of
achieving success in some area of your life that's
important to you.
You mentioned that during your first 6 months
you got tons of numbers, learned how to flirt with
women, etc. How great does that feel?!
You also mentioned how learning about the
"inner game" from my CD Program helped you at a
much deeper level than just learning "techniques"
ever did.
This is SUCH an important point.
Most guys ask me for quick fixes.
When they have a problem, they write to me for
a line or a technique to solve their problem.
The PROBLEM with that is once you get INTO a
problem situation, it's DIFFICULT to "fix". The
best policy is to AVOID getting yourself into the
situation in the first place!
Duh.
But how do you do that?
Of course... you have to BECOME the guy that
does the right things. And part of this "BECOMING"
is learning all those things that come together
and make up your "inner game". Things like your
beliefs about yourself and women, your
understanding of dating and attraction, your
subtle communication skills... and all the rest.
When you learn this stuff, then all the
TECHNIQUES start to work DRAMATICALLY better. In
fact, you find yourself NOT NEEDING THEM AS MUCH
anymore. Since you understand what's HAPPENING at
each stage, you don't have to rely as much on
techniques... you can just lead the way and do the
right thing whenever you need to.
I could say this 1,000 times, and tomorrow some
guy is going to write me and say "I have this girl
that I've been in love with for 10 years but she
thinks I'm the UBER-WUSSY. What can I say to her
to make her fall instantly in love with me?"
FOCUS ON THE INNER GAME.
Finally, you asked me how long it's taken ME to
master this stuff as well as a few other questions
about my personal experiences.
The direct answer is that it took me about
three years from when I first decided to "get this
handled" until the moment when I realized,
"Oh my God, I don't feel insecure about women
anymore. I can go out anytime I want and meet
women. I don't ever have to worry about being
alone again."
Why so long?
Well, to begin with, I didn't have GREAT
materials and training to get me started.
I went out and looked around on the internet,
read a bunch of books, went to seminars, listened
to tapes... the whole deal. The thing that really
did it for me, and you've heard me say this over
and over, is when I started spending time with
guys who were NATURALLY good with women. In other
words, they had figured out what works with women
on their own (or from other guys), without any
influence from books or tapes or seminars.
By watching and spending time with them, I
discovered all kinds of amazing things. And by
taking what I learned and experimenting,
combining and innovating, I figured out and
developed some WILD stuff.
But, you know what?
I still learn things every day about this
topic.
I'll be watching a couple interact at the local
Starbucks and I'll realize something that's been
right in front of me the whole time... but I just
didn't see it.
The great thing about this whole subject of
women and dating is that you can really enjoy the
process of developing your own success.
I will tell you one thing. If I would have had
my own book and Advanced Series when I started, it
would have taken me a FRACTION of the time -
guaranteed.
...and with that, I have to recommend that if
you're reading this right now and you haven't
gotten your own copies of these, then you need to
do it.
There is no better way to learn how to be more
successful with women and dating. I've spent a lot
of time putting these materials together and
organizing them in a such a way that you can start
using what you learn IMMEDIATELY. You will see
INSTANT improvement with women... and I absolutely
guarantee that you'll be thrilled with the value
you receive or you can just ask for a full refund.
Really.
Go check out some great samples of my Advanced
Series here:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/AdvancedSeries/
The downloadable eBook is here:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/eBook/
I'll talk to you again soon!
Your Friend,
David D.
