For some reason, my lower body is sore today. I'm not sure from what this soreness stems, but with every step I take, I certainly feel it in my lower back, my glutes, my abductors, my hamstrings, my quads, and my calves. Strange, but life goes on.
Check it out! This man offered to fulfill my wildest dreams. It went a little something like this:
Dream-fulfilling Man: "Well, aren't you just as pretty as a peach?"
Transparent Me: "Well, I don't know if I'd put myself in such a high class, but thank you just the same."
Dream-fulfilling Man: "Yeah. I bet your life has never been better!"
Transparent Me: "You're right."
Dream-fulfilling Man: "I know. Now that I'm in your life, it just has to be better."
Enter cheesy smirk.
Transparent Me: "But of course."
Dream-fulfilling Man: "You know, little lady, I can make your wildest dreams come true!
Transparent Me: "You would do that for me?"
Dream-fulfilling Man: "Baby, I'll do all that and more!"
Transparent Me: "If only you would..."
Dream-fulfilling Man: "I bet you're just dying to get a piece of me! I knew it the moment I saw you."
Eyebrows begin to waggle, um, suggestively.
Transparent Me: "Truly so! Why, this very morning, I was contemplating suicide, but I had an epiphany which stopped me in my tracks! I couldn't very well kill myself when today just may be the day that I get a piece of you, therefore having my wildest dreams fulfilled. Finally!"
Dream-fulfilling Man: "Seriously..?"
Transparent Me: "Seriously."
Dream-fulfilling Man: "Baby, I'm gonna make..."
I rudely interrupt at this point.
Transparent Me: "Me puke. Go away, Penis Man."
Dream-fulfilling Man: "But you said..."
Transparent Me: "Hush! It doesn't matter what I said. We live in a world in which our love was never meant to be. We must content ourselves with these few stolen moments."
Ah, the joys of meeting dream-fulfilling men.
