Ok so, far you know Im a fan of KISS and that I dont always get along with my husband and his family....you also know that I get irrated with the people that I have to wait on at work and the people I work with...well, what you dont know about me was five yrs ago this mother's day I lost a child...because I had a medical card and was basically going through the local health dept when I called the doctor's office they brushed me off..and do to their I dont give a shit attitude I lost the baby....now some of my family and friends said oh maybe something was wrong with the baby and thats the reason or it was just god's way...well the way I see it is that I dont think god would have let me get pregnant if it wasnt meant to be...why would god do something so cruel as to give us something like that and than take it away? You know as well as I do the answer to that....I even had a friend say well the baby's soul was needed for another child....gotta love catholics...for the past 5 yrs I have been battling depression and suicidal thoughts I go to counseling and I take medication to keep me evened out....maybe it wasnt the dr and his staff fault that I lost the child...I will never know....I went to the doctor recently (a different dr) and she said that I had a lazy ovary which is something I've been told before..and I have a harmone problem and that the only way I will get pregnant is to take numerous shots that my insurance more than likely wont cover....does it kill me to see children around the age of the child I lost of course...the night that I lay in the hospital going through the process a friend and his wife right down the hall was giving birth..now, everytime I see that child I want to cry....do I begrudge people that can have children like they are nothing of course I dont know anyone that wouldnt....the reason that I chose to share this is because I know there are others on this site that have went or that are going through the same thing I want you to know that you are not alone..and I feel your pain....love and kisses to all
