fuck this shit. im done.
Nice Guys Always Finish Last.
fuck that.
im tired of losing the race.
im going to gain some ground.
i apologize in advance if me being an asshole offends anyone.
this is just an angry blog.
im not so sure i should write these after twelve hour shifts of non stop hard labor. and for what, for who?
money is nice-but not if you have no one to share it with.
not that i want anyone.
im thinking i might just stay single as long as i can.
maybe some dating here and there.
no marrige, no kids, no commitment, no drama.
i use to want kids, big house, family, dog, fireplace....
fuck that noise.
thats just a fancy long phrase for drama.
girls NEVER know what they want.
even if they think they do.
i think most of em want 5 differnt guys at the same time.
each one to answer one of their needs.
im tired of girls being attached to me like im the hottest thing since sliced bread, and all of a sudden decide they don't like carbs or some shit.
i like friends.....most the time.
they don't usaully change- stay the same for the most part.
its all that meant to be, soulmate, bullshit that fucks with our heads.
how are we really suppose to know, huh?
i learned in school that "love" is just a chemical/endorphine released from your body-some people pick up on it cuz they release the same kind- they both feel perfect....it must be love! thats fucked up that people can believe thats all it is- it still eats away at me though. theres got to be more to it.
some people can spend their entire lives trying to figure it out...or trying to find it. waste of a life i think.
theres so much more to discover out there for YOURSELF.
people are all too caught up in what everyone around them feels or how they act. its the quest of finding yourself...who YOU reallly are that makes life worth living.
i had said once, a long time ago, and i forget the circumstances, that i could stay single for the rest of my life. i wasn't kidding- it was probably said for a girl or something...like if i couldn't have her i'd have no one..i don't know probably something like that. i can do it. its plausable.
I like writing like this. its like venting. it helps.
im already starting to feel better.
still kinda pissed though.
sometimes, at this part of the year, i become kind of an asshole/criminal/heartless/evil bastard- i think its the scorpio in me. a lot of people are always like- how can you be a scorpio...your so nice and sweet....ya well- around this time of the year, the dark side comes out.
that is if you believe in that zodiac bullshit. i do to an extent.
your whole life, way of thinking, way of acting can't all be attributed to the time of the year you were born. it can't be that simple. humans are way too complex. granted there are some coincidences to how you act in relation to your sign, but some people take it way too far.
i took out a lot of my anger out at work tonight. usually after working out or working hard i feel better. i still felt angry tonight. maybe it was the slamming my hand/hands with the sledge hammer like 20 times. or dropping 60 lb pieces of iron on my feet and shins...naaaa. maybe it was people not responding to my texting...or working with some complete idiots. maybe all of thee above.
im egsausted....but this deffinatly helped. thank you for reading this, if you made it this far- some friends wanted me to talk....i've been trying and no one has been listening. so i'll just write. this way no one will have to worry about poor little nicky. awwww. fuck that. im done. im passing out. thanks again and im sorry.
