This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little girls:
Once upon a time
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in a land far away,
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a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess
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happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
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The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
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One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am
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and then, my sweet, we can marry
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and set up housekeeping in my castle
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with my mother,
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where you can prepare my meals,
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clean my clothes, bear my children,
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and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."
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That night,
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as the princess dined sumptuously
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on lightly sauteed frog legs
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seasoned in a white wine
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and onion cream sauce,
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she chuckled and thought to herself:
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I don't fuckin' think so.
