One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
>
>When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme
>sacrifice and gave up beans.
>
>Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
>from work.
>
>Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I
>would be late because I had to walk home.
>
>On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was
>more than I could stand.
>
>With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by
>the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it,
>I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
>
>All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
>
>Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
>delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
>
>He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
>
>I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
>telephone rang.
>
>He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went
>to answer the call.
>
>The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure
>was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I
>seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
>
>It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
>over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
>
>I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
>
>Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
>was worse than cooked cabbage.
>
>Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I
>went on like this for another few minutes.
>
>The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells
>signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more
>times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it
>feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
>
>My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
>returned, apologizing for taking so long.
>
>He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I
>had not.
>
>At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated
>around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
>
>I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!