Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
> >
> > A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
> >
> > Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
> >
> > A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean
> > your mother.
> >
> > Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
> >
> > I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
> >
> > Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
> >
> > A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
> >
> > Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
> >
> > Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
> >
> > Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
> >
> > Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
> >
> > A successful diet is the triumph of mind over
> > platter.
> >
> > Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
> >
> > A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
> >
> > Without geometry, life is pointless.
> >
> > When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your
> > imagination.
> >
> > Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
> >
> > A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
> >
> > Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
> >
> > When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
> >
> > A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is
> > two-tired.
> >
> > What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a
> > dead giveaway!)
> >
> > A backwards poet writes inverse.
> >
> > In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your
> > count votes.
> >
> > A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
> >
> > If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
> >
> > With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
> >
> > When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
> >
> > The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
> > recovered.
> >
> > A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
> > result in Linoleum
> > Blown apart.
> >
> > You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
> >
> > Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
> >
> > He often broke into song because he couldn't find
> > the key.
> >
> > Every calendar's days are numbered.
> >
> > A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it
> > taint mine.
> >
> > A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
> >
> > He had a photographic memory that was never
> > developed.
> >
> > The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was
> > a small medium at
> > large.
> >
> > Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a
> > mall.
> >
> > Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
> >
> > When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair,
> > she thought she'd
> > dye.
> >
> > Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
> >
> > Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
> >
> > Acupuncture is a jab well done.