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EnlightenedOsote's blog: "FUNNY"

created on 06/26/2007  |  http://fubar.com/funny/b95923
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. > > > > A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. > > > > Practice safe eating - always use condiments. > > > > A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean > > your mother. > > > > Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. > > > > I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. > > > > Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. > > > > A hangover is the wrath of grapes. > > > > Corduroy pillows are making headlines. > > > > Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? > > > > Sea captains don't like crew cuts. > > > > Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? > > > > A successful diet is the triumph of mind over > > platter. > > > > Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. > > > > A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. > > > > Without geometry, life is pointless. > > > > When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your > > imagination. > > > > Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red. > > > > A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. > > > > Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. > > > > When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. > > > > A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is > > two-tired. > > > > What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a > > dead giveaway!) > > > > A backwards poet writes inverse. > > > > In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your > > count votes. > > > > A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. > > > > If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed. > > > > With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. > > > > When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. > > > > The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully > > recovered. > > > > A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would > > result in Linoleum > > Blown apart. > > > > You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. > > > > Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under. > > > > He often broke into song because he couldn't find > > the key. > > > > Every calendar's days are numbered. > > > > A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it > > taint mine. > > > > A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. > > > > He had a photographic memory that was never > > developed. > > > > The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was > > a small medium at > > large. > > > > Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a > > mall. > > > > Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. > > > > When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, > > she thought she'd > > dye. > > > > Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. > > > > Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. > > > > Acupuncture is a jab well done.
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