After a long afternoon of raping/flirting with bloggers in Wicked's latest creation, I decided I should head to the store to pick up supplies for taco night. I didn't have a lot of spare cash so when I came across a bottle of $5 Cabernet I was pretty excited. "I can use this for cooking" I thought. and oh look at that a 55 cents coupon. Excellent. I picked up a few more items and headed home.
When I got home I opened the door, my arms full of grocery bags, to find Baxter looking all innocent. This is a bad sign. I walked into the apartment to find he had torn up the garbage on the living room carpet. He claims it was the garbage gnomes but they haven't been here since I stopped working. Baxter says they never show up when there is peoples.I knew he was telling tales. Garbage Gnomes! As if! I yelled and screamed and cleaned up the mess. That's when I found the gnome hat. Damn gnomes! I apologized to Baxter but I still felt bad. I looked at the wine. "oh that will make the sad go away! Drink that!" I thought. Now before you get all wine snobby on me I'd like to describe the wine glass by glass.
Glass 1: The bouquet: I don't know. I think my nose is stuffed up. Kinda like grapes. Wait, is that dawn liquid soap? Oh I don't think I rinsed the glass well enough. Oh well I already poured it.
Glass 2: I totally didn't rinse the glass well enough this is sooo much better. Kinda of like expensive red wine but with an anti-freeze after taste.
Glass 3: Pfft this wine is great fuck you and your 'spensive wine. $5 wine is awesome. ooh Britney spears. lets dance.
Glass 4: What was I supposed to make for dinner? oh yea tacos. fuck that. too much work. and fuck you. what are you looking at? I had 2 tortillas and a piece of cheese.
Glass 5: I love you man. No really. I. Love. You. Hey hey! I love you. shut up. Hey hey you know what word is funny. Mangina. hahahahaa. ow! I hit my lip on the glass.
Glass 6: You know what really hurts? when you go to pee but instead of sitting on the toilet you totally miss it and kinda like half fall on your ass half pee on your leg. I was like stuck for like half an hour wtf man I thought you were gonna check on me wtf. Have you seen my glass? fucking garbage gnomes. Hey hey hey. you wanna make out?