It was beautiful at one time maybe never
they told me it was beautiful
I remember their faces leaning into mine, contorting, melting
piercing eyes watering with guilt and evil
for whatever the word evil may represent
as I press the gun barrel into my temple am I evil
is the gun evil
is the world evil for letting this happen
am I evil for not believing in your worthless god that doesn't deserve to be capitilized
for my language is different than yours
a different thought process that I can smile to
teach me to believe in a myth
as a nude santa claus hides in my christmas (no caps) tree
lets put a leaf over his privates and call him Adam
set out apples with maggots bubbling, moving its red skin
slap me on my forehead and tell me I'm fucked
cram the pages of your holiness down my throat
look down my throat you will see the light
for when you look down the barrel of the gun
when the firing pin dents the bullet cartridge the light is brilliant.