I wish I could get a shot and fix my damaged mind....
Take out all the insanity that fills it to the brim....
I hate the way it works, how it makes my life so hard...
Making every day such a struggle, remembering the simplest of task...
Leaving me feeling so worthless and confused, my self esteem so damaged...
People make jokes, get frustrated, dont understand how helpless I feel...
To them its a learning dissability, to me a disease taking my life piece by piece..
I keep seceret how bad it really is, that my memory worsens by the day....
I want to ask for help yet cant imagine what can make it right again...
The anger overwhelms me at times, no control over it, addicted to meds...
Write yourself a note, get a planner, too bad I misplace or forget both....
Everyday I try so hard, feeling so stupid, pretending it does not tear me apart...
I just want to be normal, think like I should, react as others, not feel like a joke..
I look normal, I do normal things, so there is not much understanding....
It affects my work, my relationships, my ability to be a good mother....
But all most see is laziness, oh she's such a blonde, or she just doesnt get it...
I see no end in sight, so many things I can not undue, I'm drowning now...
I've lost posessions, lost money, lost jobs, lost friends, lost my mind....
I HATE feeling sorry for myself, helpless, crazy, defeated, alone....
I will keep smiling pretend the jokes do not hurt, I dont want thier pitty...
I'm supposed to be strong, laugh it off, get it right, be hard core.....
So I wake up, take my pills, get through another day, save the tears for night...
A.D.D. is taking my creativity, it is crushing my spirit, I am tired of the fight....
