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A Christmas Story
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my rear for darn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady gripping cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better those JERKS from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't darn funny.
Who the heck ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits.
They want the impossible--Those mean little twits.
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...
Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo-yo's--No request for them.
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees.
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees.
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment.
I'll sit on my fat rear and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reasons.
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season.
