There are times in a person’s life that nothing seems to work…Your personal life doesn’t probably give you any joy, so you say “I’ll focus on my work/studies”, thinking that it will be a creative and productive way to escape from all the negativity that you face. So, you take a big breath and start working like a maniac, finding the motivation you need little by little, until one day something happens and bang (!) you feel like someone cut your wings. You start looking for the director to tell him that this chapter of your life’s script actually sucks and that there’s no possible way for you to make it and finish the scene. The director of course, stays silent and gives you that look that says “you came here to play, so shut up and keep going.” You look in front of you, and you see the abyss, your own personal abyss that would probably not look like an abyss at some other point of your life, but now it does…So, you feel that the only solution you have is to look behind you in order to find the support you need at the moment. Actually, it’s the first time in your life that you ask for someone’s help. No matter what the problem was before, you always found the strength to solve it on your own. But now you feel weak…and you think that you actually have the right to feel that way and ask for support. In this strange labyrinth you found yourself in, you hope that thread will be handed to you by the very same person that put you in there. Is this naivety or despair? It’s probably your inability to realize that the one you hope that will save you is the one who has been killing you little by little…
The truth often hurts but the shock will help you to wake up and find the exit. It will make you realize that you are the one who allowed that person to have power on you, otherwise he would have never managed to find the way; that no matter how many things you lived together and how many memories you have, how many words and feelings and moments you shared together, you have to decide whether you want to keep living according to how things in the (even recent) past were or according to what the present reveals; that excuses are to be told to those who desperately want to hear them.
There is this little thing that’s called ego that you have forgotten what it means. Well, you know what? It’s ok…because it’s not what you need. Your ego will simply make you deny your own feelings and this is not the question here. What matters is for you to accept the truth. Give yourself the time you need and wait till you hear that ‘clic’. It’s a magical one. Believe me. Once you hear it, it means that this chapter is over and another one is about to begin; that you are able again to view things the way they really are, that you slowly walk out of that daze you were in for all this time.
If your heart’s broken, there is no one else that can heal it and take the pain away but you. You are the only one to decide when it’s over. Don’t you ever forget that.