Well the past month or so Ive been goin to docs like crazy, more dang test, more pain from the test, and basically just a huge mess. I was told in july of 99 that I had primary progressive multiple sclerosis, and spent time in leg braces and 4yrs in a wheel chair, but been up over 5 yrs now. Was told had severe nerve damage in my legs n lower back, and would never know a day without pain, the pain part well they got that part really right!.
Nehow, lately been goin for more test, I had a nerve conduction study done to check nerve damage and also muscle damage, a MRI to see what the degenerative disc n spinal disease had damaged and how badly that they found in an x-ray over a month ago. and tons of blood work ( 187.00 worth!).
Well today I go back to the doc, pain management doctor, and he says he didnt see the degenerative stuff in the MRI, dunno where it went but didnt show this time, the nerve test (which was my 9th since prolly 95 or so, showed no damage at all in the nerves or muscles, and he isnt totally convinced of the MS and if it is its very mild and altho ive used some of the MS drugs in the past its now to where I would have to just deal with it. which is what I been doin neways. no surprise there.
I also convinced him I no longer wanted a bunch of meds and wanted to try it my way, he wasnt to happy bout it but I told him ive done this a long time and made it this far, dont push this on me let me try, im strong enough to do this.
Dont get me wrong pain is pain and some days its more than I can stand but I dont want to stay on pain pills all my life, I lost my brother that way and promised I wouldnt do that.
Im so happy with the news that the things they thought they found arent there, but it still something there cuz im still considered disabled, cant get a job, and the pain is never ending. He says my joints are to stiff in my back n hips n legs but im workin on that to. Im to young he says to not be able to do basically a backbend, funny thing is never could do one even before got so messed up health and age wise lol.
He asked me how I think Ive manage to heal like I have and to over come so much, I said one prayer can do wonders, along with Faith, 2 im to stubborn to stop now, I been to hell n back all threw life and they didnt stop me then I aint given in now. and 3 I figure as long as im still here im makin someone upset so its all good lol. He just laughed and said well guess ya got one helluva good out look young lady. I said yea guess so.
Altho he did give a strange look cuz I wouldnt say well yanno meds did it for me, cuz they didnt so why lie say they did?!?!?!.
I know there is still something in my back thats not right but I can live with it, im not lettin it stop me, but good lordy wish these docs would either agree on something or just let it be.
I have to go cuz of my disability and a few other things, but truth is truth and I tell it like it is.
They want to try steriod shots (or something like that) in my joints in my lower back n hips in 2 wks, and yea im considering doin it but at the same time, if all has changed other than the pain why is he pushin for it? He hasnt given me a reason for all this pain n such but what the heck stick a needle in my back and it will be all good. Geesh if imma have to have needles stuck in my back I'd prefer them have ink in them for a new tattoo lol.
Neways just needed to get some of this out. This kinda goin in circles things with docs has gone on for years now and today was no different. If all has been cleared then I Thank God for it, if not then ok so be it, life be that way and im still gonna stick around to kick its butt instead of letting it kick mine.
So guess yea im confused n happy, nothing really new bout that lol.
