The great philosopher Denis leary's work inspired me to write about me with such a good description of honestly who I am I'm very affectionate, loyal, kinda funny.

I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like sports and porno and books about war

I live in a average place with a nice hardwood floor
My life and my job, no kids and my car
My feet on my table and a pot filled cigar.

But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
No, I've gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense

So I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole
I use public toilets and piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying
"How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole


Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole

Maybe I shouldn't be writing this long
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong

Nah!

I'm an asshole


You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac, El Dorado convertible
Hot pink with whaleskin hub caps and all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, yeah
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 mph Getting one
mile per gallon.

Yep I'm a asshole and I'm proud of it