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TUESDAY'S JOKES
How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He's breathing.
What do men and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know .... it's never happened.
******************************************************************** WEDNESDAY'S JOKES
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones left are handicapped.
What is a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
******************************************************************** THURSDAY'S JOKES
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
What's the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker, and the other is a fish.
What do you have when you have two balls in your hands?
A man's undivided attention.
******************************************************************** FRIDAY'S JOKES
What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.
What are the two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.
How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get, and how long it'll stay.
******************************************************************** SATURDAY'S JOKES
Husband: "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've go nothing to put in it."
Wife: "You wear briefs, don't you?"
Husband: "Want a quickie?"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"
Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover?
He knows first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.
******************************************************************** SUNDAY'S JOKES
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties
