I like to think of myself as a guy that wears a lot of hats.

I'm an Attourney, at least that's what my diploma says. I wore a square hat on that day. I enjoy going to sporting events, (One time Goth, Jurassic & I went to see the Marlins and they gave us these straw hats) you can bet your anus I wore that one on the 3rd base line! I also have a hat with a little fan on the brim, but I haven't worn it since the night Innocent Chin made love to a campfire. I like to give all my friends very random names...to both protect the innocent and guilty. For example: Big JC isn't big on the big cheese, and I'm not talking about The Red Pepper, although he was spicy around White Lightning the day I got lost in the parking lot next to the Gold Belt Empire!

Once you get used to it, it's not so confusing.

So as you can see, I'm a rather eclectic guy, with varying tastes...from Goulash to Steak to Ribs to Chicken to Lamb to Venizen to Duck to Goat to Turkey, to Brains and Waterchestnuts... I don't have a problem with vegetarians, I like to make out with a nice head of lettuce on occasion, I just don't think I could marry one...a vegetarian that is... If you propose to a leaf eater, she'll call you Spoinky in bed...and that's the moment you realize why pork isn't kosher!