41 Year Old
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Male
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Joined on March 29, 2007
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Relationship status: Single
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Born on February 23rd
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I have a
crush on someone!
I am a space alien descended from a giant space bear. He mauls entire planets with his huge fucking bear claws.
Don't question it.
Ever since I arrived on your human earth planet, I have been asked many questions.
"What is out there?"
"Are there greater civilizations?"
"When will we blow up from a meteor landing?"
To all these questions, there is always just one answer.
Shut your fucking mouth, humans.
In other news, my name is Mike, and I am an asshole.
41 Year Old
·
Male
·
Joined on March 29, 2007
·
Relationship status: Single
·
Born on February 23rd
·
I have a
crush on someone!
Interests
I kind of like going to church. And napping. In the church. And snoring. No really. I don't. I should though.
I mostly like ruining peoples days and crushing their dreams. If I could turn invisible, I might become the predator. Or a peeping tom. One of the two.
Recently at a workshop for my job, I was asked how I would move mt fuji. I told my instructer I would turn into the hulk and smash the hell out of it. I'm sometimes confused as to why I still have a job too.
Music
Back in the commune where I grew up, the man we knew as jesus(my uncle ken) told us that music was only acceptable if he was allowed to masterbate onto the cover first.
For what I consider to be fairly obvious reasons I stayed away from record stores for the next 15 years of my life.
Movies
I'm considering making all the movies you have already watched and liked. You should praise me for this.
Idols
My only idol is myself. There are swell people in this world, but they will die before I do, so who cares. Once they are dead, I will be the undisputed most glorious person.
Plus, i'm far more modest then they are. I'm the most modest person ever. Losers.
Video Games
I just learned about some game called Pong on atari. It's like playing a sport and not having to move. It blew my mind a little and I had to spend the next hour praying to jesus.
After that, I realized I had clearly been drunk or dreaming or hallucinating or, well, you get the point.
have a great day....
