7 Reasons not to Mess with a Child
A little girl: was talking to
her teacher about whales.
The teacher: said it was physically
impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a
very large mammal its throat
was very small.
The little girl: stated that
Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher: reiterated
that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl: said, "When I get
to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher: asked, "What if Jonah
went to hell?" The little girl:
replied,
"Then you ask him".
~~~~~~**~~~~~~
A Kindergarten teacher: was
observing her classroom of children
while they were drawing. She
would occasionally walk around
to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl
who was working diligently,
she asked what the drawing was.
The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher: paused and said,
"But no one knows what God
looks like." Without missing a
beat, or looking up from her
drawing,
the girl replied,
"They will in a minute."
~~~~~~**~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher: was
discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment
to "honour" thy Father and thy
Mother, she asked, "Is there a
commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers
and sisters?"
Without missing a beat
one little boy:
(the oldest of a family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."
~~~~~~**~~~~~~
One day a little girl was sitting
and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several strands of
white hair sticking out in
contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and
inquisitively asked, "Why are
some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well,
every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy,
one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about
this revelation for a while
and then said,
"Momma,
how come ALL of
grandma's hairs are white?"
~~~~~~**~~~~~~
The children had all been
photographed, and the teacher
was trying to persuade them
each to buy a copy of the
group picture.
"Just think how nice it
will be to look at it when
you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a
lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,
He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back
of the room rang out,
"And there's the teacher,
She's dead. "
~~~~~~**~~~~~~
A teacher was giving a lesson
on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter
clearer, she said, "Now,
class, if I stood on my head,
the blood, as you know, would
run into it, and I would
turn red in the face..""Yes,"
the class said.
"Then why is it that while
I am standing upright in the
ordinary position the blood
doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
~~~~~~~**~~~~~~
The children were lined up
in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school
for lunch.
At the head of the table
was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and
posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the
lunch line, at the other
end of the table was a large
pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note,
"Take all you want".
God is watching the apples.
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