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Fact of the day: The French have a doughnut called "Nun's Fart."
Joke of the day:
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.
The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.
After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
Word of the day: DOUCHEBAG
Example 1:
The term "douchbag" generally refers to a male with any number of characteristics not associated with one particular region or age demographic. Douchebag is a combination of attitude qualities, social ability, and attire.
In terms of geography douchebags can be found nearly anywhere. For instance, douchebags can be seen in New Jersey where fake diamond earrings, frosted spiked hair, Razor phones, half a can of Axe, unbuttoned collared shirts, Fossil watches, overly groomed chinstraps, backwards colored Yankee hats with the sticker still attached and 2002 Mustangs are considered "tight." At the same time douchebags are also plentiful in the Southwest where on any given Wednesday night on frat row in Tempe you can find males who find it "sweet shit" to wear pink collared shirts, while donning the following attire: pukka-shelled necklaces, fake skater shoes, have some variation of an Asian symbol tattoo on their shoulder or back, wear a Hurley hat that sits cockeyed on their head, throw various fake gang signs during pictures and drive their dad's old white 1997 convertible M3 BMW. They also generally find the length of time one drinks while doing a "keg-stand" directly correlates with the amount of pussy one can get.
As mentioned douchebags transcend not only various geographical locations, but age demographics as well. For instance, douchebags are quite often seen just south of Sarasota, FL as evidenced by 45 year old men who still wear Oakley's, shave their chests, wear shirts that read "ride" on the front and "me" on the back, and think its cool to wear white K-Swiss'. They are usually on first name basis with the girls at Hooters, and think white T-shirt contests with 1/2 half-off Margaritas are better than a baseball game with $1 beers. At the same time, we can see young 21 year old douchebags in West L.A. who still think that Dolce Gabana belt buckles, and fo-hawks are "pimp shit."
In terms of behavior douchebags have an over-inflated sense of self worth, lack the social ability to interact with non-douchebags, and have tricked their minds into thinking that they "get mad pussy." The irony is that they very rarely get pussy, but amazingly have the amazing propensity to talk quite often about allegedly getting it.
Example 2:
That annoying guy that always talks about how cool he is, how tough he is, and acts like he is better than everyone. He tries to start shit with people and be a complete dick - usually unknowingly since he doesn't catch the fact that he's making a fool out of himself.
Though the common douchebag thinks he is accepted by the people around him, most people dislike him. He loves to appear in many places, such as parties where he seeks attention by, again, making a fool out of himself. A douchebag is also considered a little bitch.
To cure douchebag-iness, apply fist to face of douchebag every once in a while (usually when he tries to act tough). After a while it may or may not disappear. If symptoms continue, resort to more violent and dramatic measures.
Example 3:
1.Present in any given social environment, A douchebag is "that guy"... that squawking choadspank who is completely full of shit, or that moron whose head is so far up his or her ass that they will never see the light nor breathe the air again.
2. In a social situation, This person is ALWAYS the most unintelligent, arrogant, worthless, and audacious person, however firmly believes themselves to be the smartest, most important, and most sociable.
3. He is the guy that really gets under your skin, that jerk-off artist who stole that girl's virginity who you've had a crush on since the first grade, that sick minded individual that manages to suck some of the the most genuine and moral people into his fake destructive facade
3. Someone who is completely unbearable and unreasonable when put in a leadership position, for the more power they are given, the more endorsed they feel to spew their bullshit in everyone's faces.
4. Someone who projects such a negative image that people around them agree they should not even bother waking up in the morning.
5. Someone who doesn't care about producing any moral good in this world, regardless of who they are or how much power they have
This could go on and on… but lets not!
