TankGirl's blog: "666"

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?" The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it." Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer an other health problems? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?" The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university." Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick brown curly hair. "Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could." Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep. It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said: "Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm, sure the food will be great. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that? Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me. (Let's see Satan stop this one.) Take 60-seconds and repost this, "When you're down to nothing, God is up to something." This is the best story i've ever heard title this: this is beautiful, try not to cry

The leftovers of life, See no one cares. I was born and here I am, So now you see, my life is bare. When will you realise, My life is full. Not only with distrust, But its ugly and dull. Soon you'll know, What suicide means. Cos I'm helping you, To water the beans. One day you will speak, And tell me how it is up there. And maybe later, I can tell you about down here

Slices all along my arm, What do you see now, bitch? My life fucked and gone to Hell, Fuck, how deep and dark is this ditch? There is something growing deep inside, Somethings with horns and a tail. Fuck this world, this piece of shit, On a sea of blood I soon sail. You're a piece of shit, I hear right now. This place I'm in, I need out but how? Kill me now, King of Evil, Send your minions here. I'll await your message, Oh Sir Of Red, I need to bleed right clear.

Death is the one word, The one promise, That I have made, To myself and the world. I have already promised, My soul to the Devil. Provided he don't wreck it, Only worship and shit thats evil. But the one thing I'd truly miss, Of this "beautiful" and "perfect" place. Are the friends I once had, Are Bec and Hayley's face. Althought they are gone, I can still feel them here. Maybe they live in limbo, Maybe they live in fear. Death is the only word, The only way. The only promise, That I have made.

This world is dying, And we know why. Plastin cans and petrol cars, We can hardly get by. The animals we're killing, By removing their homes. The areas we're killing, The animals unknown. The fish are choking, On beer-rings and bubble wrap. Oil rigs and nuclear plants, We go on with so much crap. I can't stand living here, I'm not proud anymore. No planet will exist, I know, By the year 3004. We're gonna kill this place, We will cease to be. Open your eyes and look around, And the damage you will see.

I don't feel like, I should anymore. I don't feel that, I should be here. I feel out of place, Somewhere unknown. The country's my place, My area, my home. This city is too rushed, Too crowded, too big. I wish I was gone, These people can be pigs. I wish I was okay, To have moved from there, But my mind isn't here, It's off wandering somewhere. This place it's weird, You know what I mean? To be a country kid, In a place where there's no green. I miss my animals, My friends, my home. I wish it was here, I wouldn't mean harm. I wish I was fine, With my thoughts gone away. I wish my mind, Would come back someday. But it's not gonna happen, Not here, not now. I'll get it back, Some way, some how.

Demonica and evil, Are not my path anymore. To raise my child and give her memories, To release her at 34. Her father and I, Are not a pair. I have regrets, But I don't care. I have my memories, And keep them clean and true. And in this book, I will try to share with you.

Live it up, Is what they say. Live it up, Is their only way. Sometimes I hope, That one day soon. I'm gonna realise, There's more to doom. Than what you think, Is not for me. But I look, And what I see. You'll never know, The person inside. The most I know, Are the creatures who hide. But then you'll know, How I'm living it up. With all my life blood, In a fucking tea-cup.

Love is the answer, To a question worth knowing. Like the world's weather, Around us it's snowing. But do you understand, What it's like to feel Death. To have Him stand over you, To feel His frozen breath. *Sometimes I just wanna launch myself, Out a window, 14 stories up. With a wire cable 'round my throat, *My blood dripping into a cup. And the satisfaction that I feel, To finally rid my mind. See, it wasn't for the world, It was to see what I could find. And what I've found is fascinating, Do you know what Death can do? All the shit you read in books, Is chronically far from true. * - - * I won't be able to hear you much longer, Cos the more you speak, the less I listen. Do you understand how I feel? And down below the sidewalk glistens. You've pushed and pushed, I've finally left. I've finally gone, Without a cleft. I've finally gone, You've got your way. I've finally jumped, But I'm done, cos I've had my say.

People say they're giving up, The harry, the coke, the drugs themselves. They don't wanna lose the comfort, The zone in which they're loved with hugs. These hugs though, they're dangerous, You get hooked, they strike and you OD. Then you wonder why you're in hospital, Next to a comatose person, someone named Jodie. -- Come on guys, these things we don't need, They supposedly make us 'happy'. They just fuck you over, Makes everyone round feel crappy. Cos we can't do anything to help you, Although you think you don't need it. You seem to think you're better with than without, But I can say, you don't need this shit.