Sooo, Are ya ready to cringe yet folks?
No need to, its a good day lmao.
My infection is nearly gone (still seeping some slightly poisoned blood but its getting a better red and not bleeding as much since it "exploded" and its not much swelled) and my fever finally broke yesterday leaving me weak but getting better quicker whohooo, my head cold is nearly gone and I think I have figured out some of the problem with me being so sick so much lately.
See my bed is on the wall that the shower is (no singing in the shower here or I will tease the tar outta ya lol). Last night I was struggling so hard to not have stupid thoughts and I asked my Goddess, Brigit, to help me pull through this stupid slump I"ve been in for so long. So I talk to her for a little more. My crazy mind actually started to settle down a decent amount.
Then I looked up....
Right into a small mold looking patch right above my head. Upon further investigating, right where there is a crack in the wall above the shower stall. In other words a purrfect spot for mold to grow.
Which mold will make people sick. And every night for a few months now, I've been sleeping in my usual jammed in the corner, back flat against the wall to help me keep from rolling onto my back (remember I have recently found out I have sleep apnea), and my head is RIGHT under the patch every night.
So now I gotta get my room moved around like I've wanted to for a while actualy, get that section of wall and ceiling scrubbed and disinfected and see if we can fix the problem. Yea, what fun. But hey, if it means I stop being so sick all the time or even just part of the time, I'll do whatever I need to. Its not been fun being laid up in bed for nearly 3 full days, hardly able to walk because of major swelling and heat rash and then draining gooey blood from top of let (joint area). LMAO, if your gagging, bite me, at least you arn't the one living with it AND NOT KNOW WTF HAPPENED! Yea, I still have no idea whatsoever as to why I have this massive infection. NO cuts, NO bites, NO nadda cept heat rash.
So anywhoo, I honestly hope that my stupid crazy thoughts back down enough to where I can get back to my normal self on a regular basis and make people smile so I can smile. I've enjoyed the last 36 hours or so by watching videos of movies and tv shows on here (DROOLS over Criss Angel and the guys in Supernatural, I REALLY gotta start watching tv more, gotta love shows with great theme and hot as hell guys lmao), making goofiness in Gangland (a pimp game I play a hell of a lot and I'm the goofball poster, shocking aint it lmao, for some reason when I've not posted in a while, I get something said along the lines of, finally a funny forum, go figure lmao), and stuck on reading JC's online book right now (note to self I had to stop on Slammer 2.3 and ask if I can put JC's addy in here one of these adventures).
Weirdly enough reading his book thingy makes me think of my brother and cousin with a good mind frame and maybe I can do something to repair the damage going on with my downs syndrome brother (a case of he doesn't want to see me because of how my dad turned him against me, a fact which my aunt realized I wasn't bullshitting after dad's death and is witnessing it and at Easter she got fully pissed off at him for not telling her why he refuses to come see me and he's hurt me so many times I really don't give a fuck anymore type thing...I miss my brother, I've given up a lot for him,*laughs ironicly* like my own family, more then he can ever understand, but I can't let him keep hurting me. Think I'm gonna have to talk to the Goddess about this one to see if I should risk another hurt.)
So hopefully I can keep my head out of my ass this week and do the SMART thing, suck up my anxiety and total fear of finding out either answer and call the surgeons office and find out what the progress is. I think there should be enough time for the sleep apnea results to have come in for some sort of progress to get moving. Hope my terror at either a yes or a no final answer doesn't stop me.
More to be written later.
