If you've ever enjoyed teeth-achingly stong coffee while puffing on a hookah in a Turkish cafe, you my already know me. Simple pleasures, right? If you've ever laughed at "The Family Guy" so hard you lost control of certain body functions, we may have something in common. If you think The Clash is one of the greatest bands ever, we should talk. If you've ever gone shot-for-shot of Ouzo with a Turk on Super Paradise beach in Mykonons, I was there. If you ever woke up from an Ouzo drinking binge, on a train, with no idea how you got there or where you were going, I understand. If you're offended by materialism, stimulated by intellect, and drool at the sight of a perfectly-grilled steak, I sympathize. If you enjoy spontaneity and romance, or spontaneous romance, you're not alone. If you'd rather be outdoors playing, than indoors being irradiated by your master.....er computer, I'll join you. If you like a guy who can cook you one of the most sensationally memorable meals you've ever had, call me. If you're in a Turkish prison, please, please don't call me--they monitor the phone lines. If you love the song, "Girlfriend In a Coma", I do too. If you love wine--and let's be clear here--I mean to the point that the word "Shiraz" sends shivers down your spine, and causes you to Homer Simpson drool, I'll pour you a glass. If the idea of leaving work early, chucking a change of clothes in a bag, and catching a flight to Mexico just because you want a perfectly-made margarita--pack your bag. If what you've just read makes you wonder, "just who the f**k is this guy?" ask me.