DJ Devine RL Wife of DJ Texas Tornado's blog: "5 GOOD MINUTES"

To move forward from the last one sent to you, the Jeffrey Brantley & Wendy Millstine book used indicates regarding “FEELING RUSHED” the following: “A wise person once said, “be quick but don’t hurry.” Feeling rushed drives one to hurry. Constant hurrying can lead to mistakes, accidents, and even burnout. Try the following practice when you find yourself hurrying. It can help you become more relaxed – and quicker! 1. Whenever you feel rushed, stop and breathe, listen, or move mindfully. 2. Affirm yourself. For example, “I remember that I have all the support I need.” 3. Center mindful attention on your breath and body sensations for a few breaths. Reconnect with your body, and allow the flow of all sensations. 4. Notice any thoughts or chatter in your mind. Acknowledge the mental story without fighting or following it. 5. Attend mindfully to breath or body sensations for a few more breaths. 6. Recall a specific source of personal strength or support, and repeat your affirmation. 7. Return to work with a lighter step and a refreshed spirit.” I can’t help but add another -- “Take time to smell the roses!” Many folks will walk in the mall and look at the people sitting around and wonder (“It must be nice to have the time to sit around when there is so much to do”) while the people sitting around wonder (“It is sad that those people racing through their shopping tasks never take time to relax.”). It is important that we take the time to sit, observe, reflect and savor life – whether it is at a busy mall, on a bench in a park, or even in the comfort of our own home. Time is much too short in our lives to not take a moment to do something for ourselves when I knee jerk reaction is to continue to push ourselves to do as much as possible for those around us – either directly or indirectly in our lives. Learning to pace ourselves is important for our own wellness – even on the phones with those that are calling us from all over the United States, and sometimes from all over the world. While we would like to irradicate the need of any domestic violence existing in anyone’s lives, we are not going to be that one person to do that. Although as a team spreading the word of our work to others may help, we know that we aren’t going to be helping our callers if we are rushing from one caller to the next. We need to take time, and pace ourselves such that our mind is prepared to actively listen to the next caller. The recent change in our wrap time is there to allow us to breathe in between the calls. Use that time to actually breathe and relax. Sometimes opening our senses by wiping down our desk with wipes or breaking open an orange to eat can help eliminate the harshness of the hard call we had so that we can awaken our bodies and souls to move forward to the next caller, possibly in crisis. Sometimes, even posting a quote of a song can help – like Bob Marley’s song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy!” can help us to regain that step and smile that is needed in order to be able to help the next caller during our wrap time. Question is, what is it that is going to help you not feel so rushed? ~~ NEXT WEEK’s TOPIC: TAKE A HIKE ~~

To move forward from the last one sent to you, the Jeffrey Brantley & Wendy Millstine book used indicates regarding “DRAIN THE STRAIN” the following: “Few of us think of our work space as a refuge for meditation. But even in the sometimes hectic realm of work, you can find inner and outer space for peace. The next exercise can be done at your desk, the office hallway, or even outside. 1. In a standing position, inhale slowly and deeply from the diaphragm. Exhale, and let your jaw, tongue, arms and shoulders go completely loose. Feel the heaviness throughout your entire body, pulsating down your arms and legs as though they were hollow drainpipes. 2. With each inhale, imagine gusts of refreshing air flushing the tension through these pipes and pushing it out at your fingertips and toes with each exhale. 3. Shake out your body thoroughly by jiggling your shoulders to each side and swinging your arms to and fro. You can also jiggle each leg, one at a time. When you recognize your stress levels maxing out, take five minutes to decompress, unwind, and shake out your mounting tension.” We develop strain through intense situations. During the past few wellness sessions, there has been a great deal of focus upon meditation and relaxation techniques. These have spawned off ideas for additional ways to relax that we may or may not have given thought to before, which is always nice to generate new perspectives as new perspectives in relaxation techniques can give way to new ways of thinking and new ways of thinking can give way to new ways we can respond to our callers such that we don’t become repetitive in the responses we might suggest to them. After all, specialized herbal teas or bubbly bubble baths, aren’t the only cure all to being relaxed and pampered at times. Draining the strain is healthy for our souls. It lowers blood pressures. It creates less havoc in our lives. The question remains though: How are you going to drain your strain today? ~~ NEXT WEEK’s TOPIC: FEELING RUSHED ~~ Some quotes to give fuel for thought: “Long, long days offer the opportunity to think luxuriously. They offer the time to BE luxurious – with yourself. Long days are not just for getting more work done.” – Anonymous “When mothers feel guilty, the children suffer.” -- Maria & Maya Rodale “When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.” – Nancy Friday “Don’t try to be such a perfect girl, darling. Do the best you can without too much anxiety or strain.” – Jesse Barnard

To move forward from the last one sent to you, the Jeffrey Brantley & Wendy Millstine book used indicates regarding “FRESH EYES” the following: “It’s easy to become unconscious of and disconnected from the people and things that surround you in everyday working (and home) life. There’s a cost for this inattention and disconnection. It includes loss of motivation, feelings of boredom, even neglect of responsibilities. Try motivating yourself by seeing something new in everyday situations. 1. Pick any situation or task that comes up repeatedly. The next time you encounter it, just before engaging, close your eyes and breathe or listen mindfully for about a minute. 2. Set your intention. For example, “May this practice help me see with fresh eyes.” 3. Breathe or listen mindfully a bit longer. 4. Open your eyes to the situation. Look with interest and curiosity, as if seeing it for the first time. 5. Now look even more closely. Note objects, people, space, activity. 6. Let friendliness and curiosity support you. What do you see now?” Sometimes, to our callers, we are those fresh set of eyes – giving them that extra fresh perspective from all those thoughts stumbling, rumbling, and tumbling in their heads. We help them unravel the seemingly chaotic situation that they are in at the time and see more clearly what might lay before them – the tasks that they might do, the people that they might see, and, perhaps, even a glimpse of the future that might lay before them (that glimmer of a light at the end of the tunnel or that single ray of hope). Sometimes, keeping that fresh set of eyes fresh, we continue to look to educate ourselves, to expand the horizons of our own well being and the delving into our own souls (wellness) that helps to keep the cobwebs out so that we may truly remain with that fresh perspective. In a class that I am taking, Qigong (pronounce Shz-gong), it is also about that whole awareness of the body and mind that rejuvenates the soul. It is a pretty interesting class that I would certainly recommend. In the meantime, we all need to reflect – are we really present with the freshest set of eyes so that we can remain fresh in ideas for our callers? And, in what way can we restore our fresh set of eyes? ~~ NEXT WEEK’s TOPIC: DRAIN THE STRAIN ~~ Some quotes to give fuel for thought: “Travel not only stirs the blood … it also gives strength to the spirit.” – Florence Prag Kahn “One of the most significant moments of my life was standing and gazing at the stars and suddenly knowing with my entire being that we are all connected – everything is connected. We are all one. I felt such relief.” – Anne “And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. “ – Anais Nin, Danish diarist

To move forward from the last one sent to you, the Jeffrey Brantley & Wendy Millstine book used indicates regarding “5-STAR VALUE” the following: “Most of us need to receive some amount of appreciation for the work that we do. The best form may come in a pay raise, a letter of appreciation, or a compliment from your supervisor. But what if you feel that other’s don’t’ value your work? Over time, this perception can be very discouraging, and it can damage your self-esteem. This exercise will boost your sense of self-worth – because when you feel good about yourself, your work tends to improve. 1. Take this moment to first acknowledge all the things you do at work that keep everything flowing smoothly. In fact, without you, there might be total chaos – phones ringing off the hook, jammed fax machines, lost files, ignored customers, and so on. 2. Close your eyes and remember that appreciation starts from within. Be mindful of giving yourself daily praise: You work hard and have many talents. You are more than the value of your paycheck. You make an important contribution.” We all know, from talking to our callers, that not only is it that we that need to feel our own self-worth while talking to a seemingly endless source of victims of domestic violence; however, to be able to best encourage our callers in building their own self-worth in their home life, we should do things to make certain that our self-worth is felt not only here at our workplace, but in our own home lives as well. It seems to revert to what Martha discussed in our in-service a couple months ago (with respect to the book called, TRAUMA STEWARDSHIP: An everyday guide to caring for self while caring for others (by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky with Connie Burk). She further illustrated her point in the difference between when we took care of ourselves prior to coming into the office and answering the callers’ pleas and when we live in chaos and try to talk the good talk about building their self-worth to the callers. In another words, the difference can put us into a different mindset, especially when we work on our own self-worth building. What do you find to be the best 5-star value building techniques that you could share with the callers? When was the last time that you took 5 minutes to give yourself some praise and feel valued? ~~ NEXT WEEK’s TOPIC: FRESH EYES ~~ Some quotes to give fuel for thought about making your opportunities (to have “value”, for example): “To allow ourselves to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.” ~ Thomas Merton, Catholic Theologian, poet, author, and social activist “Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” ~ M. Scott Peck “You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.” ~ Jim Rhon

To move forward from the last one sent to you, the Jeffrey Brantley & Wendy Millstine book used indicates regarding ¡§DON¡¦T LIKE WHAT YOU¡¦RE DOING?¡¨ the following: An old saying goes, ¡§If you can¡¦t get out of it, get behind it!¡¨ How much is lost when you are fighting within yourself again the very activity you¡¦re trying to accomplish? Next time you find yourself fighting, try the following practice: 1. Breathe or listen mindfully for about a minute. 2. Set your intention. For example, ¡§May this practice bring me more peace and joy.¡¨ 3. Listen mindfully to your inner voices. Are they loud, angry, afraid ¡V what? Remember that you don¡¦t have to fight them, and you don¡¦t have to follow them. 4. When you notice feelings of aversion or ill will toward anything, gently name them. 5. Breathe mindfully for a few more breaths. Imagine that the ill will leaves you on each breath out. 6. Refocus on your work. Can you see something valuable there? Can you meet it with interest? We all find ourselves with daunting tasks that we don¡¦t¡¦ like doing, but we do them anyways (even if it is after much procrastination and despair before doing so), such as cleaning our homes, sorting our pasts stored in boxes upon boxes, etc. The sad thing is that, after we push ourselves to do the daunting tasks, we feel a sense of real accomplishment and a sense of pride in being able to get through those tasks looming over our minds and souls for days, weeks, months, or even in some cases years. On a funny note, my granddaughter (who had her first birthday on June 29th) still is toothless. She has no choice about it; the teeth simply haven¡¦t grown in just yet; however, we are hopeful. Last Wednesday when we were making faces at each other and laughing so hard while she was looking almost constipated while she was making the brrrr sound (like a motor boat), we noticed as we pulled out our cameras to capture the priceless moment and she became a ham for the cameras all of the sudden (what else would you expect out of a photo bug family?) we saw what appeared to be a tooth trying to break through. I held her and my daughter and I were tugging at her lips to hold them wide open to get that ever-enduring, one of a kind milestone shot that will be memorialized in her baby scrapbook with certainty. Poor child. I am certain that she didn¡¦t like what she was doing. The question remains, is she going to appreciate our efforts when she is 18??? Only time will tell! ƒº ~~ NEXT WEEK¡¦s TOPIC: FIVE STAR VALUE ~~ Some quotes to give fuel for thought about making your opportunities (to ¡§let it all go¡¨, for example): ¡§Don¡¦t try to be such perfect girl, darling. Do the best you can without too much anxiety or strain." ¡V Jesse Barnard ¡§Dance as if no one were watching. Sing as if no one were listening. And, live every day as if it were your last.¡¨ --- Anonymous "If you don¡¦t like something, change it. If you can¡¦t change it, change your attitude. Don¡¦t complain.¡¨ ¡V Maya Angelou

To move forward from the last one sent to you, the Jeffrey Brantley & Wendy Millstine book used indicates regarding LET IT ALL GO the following: When you¡¦re angry or frustrated, your thoughts can run amok. One negative thought leads to another and then threatening to spiral out of control into the darkest regions of hopelessness. These depressing worries are very difficult to unwind from and can disturb your concentration at work. A mindfulness meditation will help you reconnect to what¡¦s most important to you and refocus on the task at hand. 1. When you find yourself in a negative mental-feedback loop, ask yourself, ¡§Are these endless thoughts improving my situation or helping me in any way? Is it possible that there may be other ways to think about my circumstance?¡¨ 2. Take a brief moment to ground yourself by looking at an object in your environment that makes you feel calm, such as a plant or a personal photo. Now focus your attention on your breath. Gently observe your inhalation and exhalation. 3. When your attention wanders again toward unhealthy negative patterns throughout the day, just shift and refocus your attention back to your breath and the calming object. As part of the Cindy¡¦s home this past Sunday, ¡§let it all go¡¨ became the mantra of sorts before the festivities all began. Mary and I helped with creating the patties from all the meat we had before us, and we put the baked beans together and into the oven. By the time others arrived we were all relaxed, the news that the grill may not be working right and we were going to go to oven baked hamburger patties might have been a dampening moment, if we had let it ¡V until Alisha popped up and took another look at the grill and discovered that it was indeed working, one just couldn¡¦t see the flame. Why was it important to see the flame? We just needed the comfort of knowing that the heat was on; with this began the endurance run of the master at the grill, Richard, who really seemed to go with the flow and continue with the seemingly mantra for the day¡¦s event ¡V just ¡§let it all go¡¨ as he grilled over 3 dozen hamburger patties and many more hotdogs (and veggie hotdogs). In the end, everyone seemed to have had a great time. As I was picking up my belongings and getting some water for the drive home, I glanced up in Cindy¡¦s kitchen window ¡V the beautiful multicolored, glass peace sign seemed to have summed up the day very simply put. To have ¡§let it all go¡¨ at Cindy¡¦s home was ¡§peace¡¨ in the end. That, should be a reminder to us all. When we need to ¡§let it all go¡¨, just envision that beautiful peace sign artwork. ƒº ~~ NEXT WEEK¡¦s TOPIC: DON¡¦T LIKE WHAT YOU¡¦RE DOING? ~~ Some quotes to give fuel for thought about making your opportunities (to ¡§let it all go¡¨, for example): "If there is no wind, row." - Latin Proverb "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." - Milton Berle, comic "Things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.¡¨- Abraham Lincoln, U.S. President And remember this week to each day: ¡§For just a few moments ¡V those moments for yourself ¡V let the sun touch you today.¡¨ ¡V Author Unknown

To move forward from the last one sent to you, the Jeffrey Brantley & Wendy Millstine book used indicates regarding COURAGE the following: Too often a difficult or challenging work situation evokes feelings or fear or self-doubt. Such feelings can derail or impair your ability to work effectively. Real courage acknowledges fear, includes it, and acts effectively anyway. When you feel yourself becoming derailed by fear or doubt, try the following practice: 1. Breathe or listen mindfully for about a minute. 2. Set your intention. For example, “May this practice give me strength and courage.” 3. Make room for any upset you feel. Name it. Allow it. Breathe mindfully with it. 4. Imagine that your body – outer and inner – is vast and steady, like a mountain. 5. The mountain withstands storms, fires, everything. Your upset is only a passing storm to the mountain. 6. If you like, repeat a word like “courage” or “steady” or “unshakable” quietly to yourself. 7. Feel the solid earth beneath you and the strong mountain within you. As part of the Survivor’s Caucus Retreat this past Saturday, “courage” seemed like the defining word of the day as the 8 of us began redefining the goals of the Survivor’s Caucus with new leadership at hand and topics that we wanted to embark upon, including basically coming up with a goal of working towards a plan for “Stage II” or “Day After” for the survivors of domestic violence, our theme for this upcoming fiscal year. It is a huge goal that may have to be a goal better defined for the next 5 years and broken into steps for each year to get there, but it is a courageous step forward indeed (especially, if you relate courage as defined by the Merriam Webster Dictionary – “strength of mind to carry on in spite of danger”, the danger of the roadblocks we are likely to encounter on our journey). This is certainly true, too, of any survivor, and especially a survivor of domestic violence, as the danger that they have to face is eminent emotional and indeed physical harms that they encounter, along with the various roadblocks that are hurdled in efforts to seek safety for themselves, as well as their children. ~~ NEXT WEEK’s TOPIC: LET IT ALL GO. ~~ Some quotes to give fuel for thought about courageous acts: “Yesterday, I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.” ~ Bernadette Devlin “Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.” ~ Dorothy Thompson “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt “Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathy with despised and persecuted ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences.” ~ Susan B. Anthony

To move forward from the last one sent to you, the Jeffrey Brantley & Wendy Millstine book used indicates regarding PERSONAL BALANCING ACT the following: No matter what your profession, your personal life can sometimes distract you from the work at hand. Perhaps you’re worried about your child or an ill family member or a recent divorce. No one is immune to these concerns, and yet in the fast-paced business world, few of us can afford to drop our jobs and adequately tend to our daily personal worries. But there’s no reason why we can’t both acknowledge our personal life and be present for our work duties. Try this private ritual for maintaining a healthy balance between both your worlds. 1. First, acknowledge what’s going in your life outside of work. 2. Take this moment to give yourself the comfort and tenderness that you need. Say aloud, “I am worried about ______________. In this moment, I feel _________________. There will be time eventually to get through this.” 3. Take an easy breath. Remind yourself throughout your workday to move gently, to not push yourself too hard, and that there will be time to attend to your personal concerns. That’s seems fine in itself for part of the moment that you are in, but Dr. Hubert Rampersad takes it a step further, which seems to be a more proactive approach called “Personal Branding”, which is managing the perceptions effectively and controlling and influencing how others perceive you, which is part of a journey towards a happier and more successful life. That is, after all, what we are seeking, isn’t it (through balancing all of our lives – work and home and hobbies and personal – into one that means something more to us than just working, going home to enjoy our family for a few hours, sleeping and starting the entire day again, right?)? Dr. Rampersad goes on to further explain that LOVE is an important element in this balancing equation – the loving yourself (self love), loving others, and loving what you can do in equal proportions. The Personal Branding Model could be a whole inservice in itself (hey, Martha!); however, in short the Model is explained in some basic steps: 1. Define and formulate your Personal Ambition. 2. Define and formulate your Personal Brand (through Vision, Mission, Key Roles, Personal Statement). 3. Formulate your Personal Balance Scorecard (a means to measure your progress). 4. Implement and cultivate your Personal Ambition, Brand and Balanced Scorecard. While the Brantley & Millstine book seems helpful for the moment, Dr. Rampersad seems to be similar to what Martha was talking about in a prior inservice about having a Plan B in our lives and the chart we received last month in Wellness about the STAGES OF CHANGE MODEL; it is just another way to approach the process. If you would like a copy of that article, I’d be happy to give it to you. A quote to give fuel for thought about personal balancing acts: “Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life because you become what you believe. …Hold the highest vision possible for your life and it can come true …. Go for your highest and greatest vision for your life and align your purpose with the flow of your life. …Follow your passion…Sooner or later, your passion is going to win out and nobody can stop you.” ~ Oprah Winfrey