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Msde's blog: "msde"

created on 01/31/2007  |  http://fubar.com/msde/b50375

4 ways to say *I love you*

Love letters are romantic and saying “I love you” when hanging up the phone with your loved one is always reassuring. But saying “I love you” doesn’t have to be “said” with words. While these three little words are powerful conveyors of emotion, showing your love through other words and actions can be just as powerful, and possibly even more effective, at keeping a relationship alive and healthy. We’re about to offer you simple advice on ways to say “I love you” that doesn’t involve words, at least not those three words. These simple, daily actions will show your lover just how much you care for him or her. Plus: Are you a good kisser? 1. Show Your Approval, Gratitude and Admiration As human beings, we are programmed to seek reassurance from those we love and even sometimes from those we don’t love. Showing your approval and admiration of your loved one takes no time and is extremely motivating for your partner. We all want to be shown approval for things like the way we provide for our family financially, the way we raise our children, the way we take care of the house, the way we do our jobs, the way we look and our other personal accomplishments. Being constantly critical and only focusing on the negative with your partner doesn’t say “I love you” very well. In fact, it can be demeaning and can drive the other person away pretty quickly. Recognize the damage your criticisms may be causing, especially those that are petty and insignificant, and choose your battles wisely. Instead of picking at your partner’s flaws, sprinkle your conversations with words of approval, gratitude and admiration. And when your partner is saying “I love you” with other words, don’t forget to respond with gratitude with words like “Thank you for (blank),” “I appreciate that you did (blank)” and “I admire you for (blank),” and say these words often. 2. Make Your Loved One #1 When you’re in a relationship, and especially a marriage, commitment is the foundation which the relationship lies on. While your relationship takes priority in your life, you also have numerous other commitments you must tend to – your career, children, friends, extended family, and social life. Your commitment to your partner can easily waver as you give importance to all of the other things that you have going on. Just saying “I love you” doesn’t show your commitment – this demonstration requires action and active support. Showing your commitment to your partner can be especially difficult if you have children, because parents tend to think that their children are their biggest obligation. What you may fail to realize is that your spouse should remain equally tended to. And there’s no better way to show that than with time and affection. Always make sure you spend an adequate amount of time (and by adequate we mean quality) with your partner and don’t neglect his or her needs in favor of other more trivial things. It’s your obligation to find a healthy balance. Keeping your spouse number one on your list and saying no to other, less important commitments, like having a third “girl’s” or “boy’s” night out of the week, is one of the other ways to say “I love you.” 3. It’s the Small Things that Really Count Being thoughtful and taking the initiative to bring happiness to your partner is just one of the small ways to say “I love you.” Thoughtfulness, especially when it’s personal and intimate to who you are as a couple, shows that you care enough to go above and beyond. You can also be thoughtful as a way of responding to your partner’s needs and wants. Be one step ahead of him by remembering important events coming up in his life. Take the initiative to call your significant other at work to see how the big presentation went or clean out the garage without being asked to do so. Learn to be a good listener, even it’s about something you really don’t care about, and keep unsolicited advice to yourself. Being thoughtful by doing the smaller things in life is one of the great ways of how to say “I love you” without saying it. 4. Be Your Honey’s Everything Whether you’re a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a wife or a husband, your status takes on so much more meaning within your title. You’re a friend, a lover and a confidante. You may be the mother or father of your spouse’s children as well. Fulfill all of those roles with all that you have to give. Be the friend who is fun and loyal, the lover who is affectionate and intimate and the confidante who is trustworthy and who provides an ear to talk to and a shoulder to lean on when your partner needs it most If you have children, being a loving, devoted dad or mom also shows your wife or your husband that you love them enough to take care of the children you produced together. Being your partner’s everything takes work, but it’s an endeavor that says “I love you” more than words ever can. There are so many wonderful ways to say “I love you” that don’t involve words, and when you incorporate these different ways to say “I love you” into your every day life, you’re guaranteed to see a positive response from your partner and even more positive results in your relationship. So go ahead and “tell” your partner just how much you love him or her today.
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