There is actually a point and lesson to this rambling, long entry.
Today means there is only 1 month to go of waiting for the sleep apnea test.
So little time.
Yet so distant it seems impossible that it will ever get here. I'm going down hill faster because of the frustration and pain levels. I keep trying to tell myself just a few more weeks. Not much time compared to all the time I've been through already. It ain't working. I've begun to notice the depression signs are back. Not the OCD, the old, regular depression (not that depression of any sort is regular but is the best way to put it). Seems an enemy of mine that I will never escape.
Too much time. Goddess its weighing me down so hard and I'm being driven insane! I took a vacation day for friday so I could have a 3 day weekend. Some time to myself to enjoy peace and quiet while everyone else was away for the weekend. To get my room spring cleaned, organized and set up the way I want.
Yea, that was a frigging joke and massive waste of time. I slept most of it. Literally. I had to of slept a good 20 hours a day each day. I literally could not stay awake for more then a few hours. It was NOT a restfull sleep either. I kept waking up every couple to few hours either because I was thirsty due to sweating horribly bad or dog wrestling for bed space or to take the 3 dogs outside or feed them or potty break (hey we all do the potty thing so theres no reason I shouldn't mention it, yeesh, drop the horrified fasade).
I was rather bummed friday because I was supposed to spend the day with a nifty online friend learning EverQuest. I woke up with a headache early, played a little bit but couldn't take the pain so had to message him a half hour or so before time that I was going to lay back down and let some meds work on the headache.
I should have known right then and there things were going to be bad!
Ah the 3 dogs. That was a trip. Ever try to take care of and entertain 3 animals when physically your body is shut down so hard that walking around the house leaves you on the verge of tears because of struggling so hard? Yeah, lots of fun, let me tell ya.
Ever try to sleep on a twin bed: a 5ft 11 400 pound woman, a 50 to 60 pound full grown boxer dog, a 5 pound miniture dachund, and a 7 or 8 pound crippled furry tacobell dog? Lets not forget that the fat lady has to have a pillow behind her back against to wall, double pillow between knees as well as usual head pillow.
So thats 1 fat woman, 1 big dog, 2 little dogs and 4 pillows.
On a twin bed.
And we did it for 3 nights. We all lived through it too. I'm still trying to figure that one out.
Got to admit, its strange to have a big dog play footsies with you and you both loose yet win. First night was horrible. I was like OMG LA move your arse off my feet! Then she was like OMG Crystal move your fat arse off my paws! Eventually we learned to share and I'd use her as my foot rest and then she'd use me as her paw and head rest. It was all good by the middle of the 2nd night. Lucky for my I have big feet so it evened out the war with the 4 paws.
What about the little dogs you ask? How'd they survive the "Titans Battle For Supremacy Of The Foot Of The Bed"? They were smart. They slept in the curve of my upper body. They only had to put up with some horrible snoring from both ends of the bed. No biggie.
Did I mention the fact that I slept in damned near the exact same position each night/day, all night/day? Big dog curled in arch of legs, little dogs curled in arch of torso.
So yea, my right side hurts like hell from sleeping on it without very much movement for 3 nights. Its a wonder my right side isn't as flat as a pancake and my left side fluffy as a cake. But then again the occasions where the little dogs would lay on my side helped keep that fluff from getting too fluffy.
Gotta love dogs. They did help me. I'd start crying (like I said, depression signs are setting in) and they'd look at me and just stare like they were actually listening to me as I blubbered stupid stuff. For some reason LA (the Boxer) usually decided that was the time for play and would start wrestling me. Dumb dog. Don't tell her it worked would ya. She already thinks she's queen of the domain and might gloat over making me feel better for a little bit.
Oh yea, she usually wins the wrestling matchs. Go figure.
So anywhoo, I guess I better wind this down. There is a lesson IMO in all this concerning Gastric bypass surgery.
The longer the wait is, the more stressful it gets. The more stressful it gets, the more likely the purrson on the waiting end is going through a hell of a lot of emotions, mostly bad. Watch for signs of depression. Try to help them keep from withdrawing. Let cnversations flow that to you may be stupid as hell but to the other purrson may be extremely important
Help the purrson realize they are cared about even though they may not feel it.
I know, cause I'm there now.
More to be written later.
