I've lived in the shadow of someone else for the last 23 years and today I am officialy out of the shadows... I went through some really hard things in the last 5 years and was able to find myself again because of it... I broke my back 4 years ago and I found the person I thought would always be there for me never really was... It was me that was there for them and as long as I could no longer be there for them because of my back they left me to fend for myself... I did spend 3 years feeling sorry for myself and became house bound because of it (they made me feel worthless) then I found out if you don't respect yourself how can anyone else respect you... about 1 1/2 years ago I made myself go out with some new friieds my kids introduced me to and that made me feel alittle like I was not the ugly person my x made me feel like... I did get some people who looked at me like I was worth talking to... this was a long 4 month process that made me feel better than 2 years of counceling did.... before I knew it I was at the harley dealer buying my first bike... that was all I needed to know I would make it on my own...3 weeks later I was traiding my 1200 low sporster for a 2009 Street Glide I taught myself to ride and then found myself riding in a poker run in my area... that was 1 year ago this Month and I have lived more in the last year than I have in the last 20... I am ok with myself now and I know I'm not the ugly duckling I thought I was and I have learned never to step into the shadow of another... you have to walk together side by side or its not worth walking at all.... My kids have gone through alot with me and for me but in the end we are still the 3 Muskateers just like always.....they are always there for me and I am greatful for them....every second of everyday.... and there is nothing on this earth like being a grandparent its the greatest part of life (sending the grandchildren home after you have spoiled them all day its the best revenge on earth) and you look good because of it....I am living life my way for the first time in 20 years and loving every minite....Sometimes I reflect back on why I waited so long to do the things I have always wanted to do but never had the gutts to step out of the shadows to do... Now I don't think twice about having the fun I deserve in life.... I had a life alter miss hap 4 years ago and it forsed me to look at the way I had copped out on myself by settling for what was the easiest and giving up on my hopes and dreams so someone else could live theirs not caring what I got out of life.... That was the biggest learning experance I could have had...It opened my eyes to what was happening....It showed me that if you let people who say they love you control your life don't love you with just words its only word's without any kind of action to show it....When I love someone I will make the sacrafices to make them all that they can be and I will do anything in my abbility to help them live there dreams.... I never expected that to come back and bite me in the ass.... I was the only one making the sacrifice....My dreams didn't matter...now they do and I have me to make them come true....